Nuh-uh
They're not that big
You got first world problems, it's true, girl, ey
First world, first world pro-oblems

Hey man, it's gettin' hard to take ya
Your whiny rants, cause you're a dou-ou-ou-ouche
Run out of room inside your fridge, huh?
Can't feel bad for ya, that's the tru-u-u-uth
Stop it, stop it, bu-uddy-y
You're bein' dumb, plea-ease
Sick of the "shitty Wi-fi" nonsense
Wish I could ban it, not just you-ou-ou-ou

Hear all around, people think they've got boulders
On their backs, well metaphoric'lly, but they're just
First world problems, just small stuff
You don't have real problems, you just suck
They're just first world problems, not real stuff
You've got first world, first world pro-oblems
First world problems, please shut up
They're just first world problems, just clam up
You've got first world problems, that's small stuff
They're just first world, first world pro-oblems

Your work blocked YouTube? Just suck it up
Don't care 'bout your subs, that's the tru-u-u-uth
You dropped the string of your fresh teabag
Into the cup, man? Well, boo-hoo-oo-oo-oo
Please don't come cry to me-e
Or act all whingy-y
When your shower lacks hot water
Don't even bother, don't care, du-u-u-ude

I come around and you're whinin' 'bout Mulder
"Out of character, can't stand it" I say so what?
First world problems, what you've got
You don't have real problems, 'fraid so, bud
They're just first world problems, no big stuff
You've got first world, first world pro-oblems
First world problems, up your shut
They're just first world problems, they may suck (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, lame)
But they're first world problems, they're small stuff (ooh-ooh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
They're just first world, first world pro-oblems

Said they're not big, uh, not real probs
I'm not denyin' that your problems kinda suck, dude
Your fave song not in the top ten? I'd be pissed too
But what I'm sayin', bro, is the part that I take issue
With is that your tone is far too whiny, so get a clue
Silly silly, sound silly, you do, when whingin'
About the brightness of your iPad or pool cover malfunctions
Not the worst thing when the deli's run out of fennel
Cause even though that sounds crap, you're wastin' your sad emotions
"What's annoyin', I forgot what my gardener's name is"
Funny, to me what's annoyin' is the bullshit that you're sayin'
Read a million tweets like this, dude, and they're all dumb
May have 99 problems but they're first world ones, so what?

Ooh-oh-oh (first world, first world pro-oblems)
Mmm-mmm-mmm (first world, first world pro-oblems)
Still goin'? Wow, I could make me a folder (first world, first world pro-oblems)
Collectin' the thousand times you've said that you've got (first world, first world pro-oblems)
First world problems, I told ya (yeah)
They're just first world problems not big stuff (oh, so-o lame)
You've got first world problems, so shut up (ooh)
They're just first world, first world pro-oblems (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, buddy)
First world problems, they do suck (yeah, you got)
You got no real problems, just own up (whoo, whoo)
"I got real big problems" you don't, bud
They're just first world, first world pro-oblems (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
First world problems, such small stuff (he-e-ey)
If you had real problems, I'd help, bud
But these first world problems are your job (oh boy, what's next, what's ne-ext, yeah-eah-eah)
They're just first world, first world pro-oblems (oh-oh-oh-yeah, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eeh-ee)