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Song Parodies -> "evil rings"

Original Song Title:

"7 rings"

Original Performer:

Ariana Grande

Parody Song Title:

"evil rings"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Run Away" self-challenge. Exhibit A for why you should always prepare "Identify" when adventuring. Cause otherwise you're just getting all the curses today.
Yeah
Space on my fingers for some magic baubles
They might look cool but the truth is they're awful
How did I find 'em? I won't say a thing
Don't want the curses they contain spreading (yeah)
This one does bad shit, some "cork up my ass" shit
This one undoes repairs to any damage
Then there's this diamond one, nice piece of bling
But it grants you a thong that won't un-cling (yeah)

Curses, can't stop 'em, long as I've got 'em
I can't dislodge 'em, I've tried, not poppin'
Look nice on there, too bad they're causin'
Such evil, don't like 'em, don't want 'em, can't stop 'em (yeah)
Don't want 'em (hoo), can't stop 'em, don't want 'em, can't stop 'em
Don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo), don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo) (yeah)
Look nice on there, sucks that they're causin'
Such evil (whoo), don't like 'em (whoo), don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo) (yeah)

I hate this ring stuck on my pinkie finger
Makin' each smell in my nose a real stinker
Though the curse on my index is much bigger
Each car I drive runs on opposite blinkers (mmm)
This one attracts ev'ry damn nearby possum (mmm-mmm-mmm)
Into my trash and also to my bottom (mmm-mmm-mmm)
And this green one? Makin' cactus plants blossom (mmm-mmm)
Inside my armpit, that's causin' shirt problems (mmm-mmm-mmm)

My rocks are gleamin' (yeah), my soul is freakin' (is freakin')
I wish that I had failed to see 'em (not seen 'em)
A great big pit of jewels (of jewels), I lost it (lost it)
Price paid, time served, don't want 'em, can't stop 'em (yeah)
Don't want 'em (hoo), can't stop 'em, don't want 'em, can't stop 'em (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo), don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo) (mmm-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, save me)
Look nice on there, sucks that they're causin' (oh-ho-oh-oh-ey)
Such evil (whoo), don't like 'em (whoo), don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo) (yeah)

Yeah, you may think that if these were that evil, I'd get so desp'rate, I'd start reachin'
For sharp things to slice real hard, a good knife or sword, and then start cleavin'
Well, I thought of that, but they were like "we're on to your plan, yeah"
Cause one curse they stacked was fast regrowth, that's crap, yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
You may ask, quite reas'nably "Dude, how's that a curse?" Here's the truth:
When I recoup my hands, the rings all regroup on my fingers, so I'm screwed
And I did check, gone through car wrecks, jumped straight off a cliff to escape, they said "nyet"
Hopin' old age will loosen their grip, if it doesn't, that proves you should skip, yeah

Don't want 'em (hoo), can't stop 'em, don't want 'em, can't stop 'em (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo) (yeah-eah-eah-ee), don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo) (na-na-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Look nice on there (yeah-eah-eah-yeah-ee-yeah-eah-eah-eah), sucks that they're causin' (help me)
Such evil (whoo), don't like 'em (whoo), don't want 'em (whoo), can't stop 'em (whoo) (yeah)

There's also this one that turns you invisible but also drives you obsessive and mad about it, but I'm pretty sure that's been done.

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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

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