You spent all the years writin' Harry Potter books
Which I take to places including airports
I don't care if you kill off any of the following
Like Ron or Hermione or Snape or Voldemort
It would break my heart if you choose to kill off Harry
Who's a boy with a lightning bolt-shaped scar
I know the Dursleys lied about the way his parents died
They said that it was a major accident of a car

Please don't kill Harry off
Don't be gettin' drunk on Smirnoff
You can kill someone else like you know that would
But don't kill Harry off

I know you have killed a guy named Sirius Black
Who escaped from Azkaban so far
I know you have kill off Dumbledore and Cedric Diggory
I'm beggin' you to not kill the boy with the lightning scar

So don't kill Harry off
Rude of you to tell me to f**k off
You can kill someone else like you know that would
But don't kill Harry off

Don't hurt any feelings of fans including me
And my girlfriend, who looks just like Hermione
I think that you are famous as an actor named John Cleese
All I'm askin' is "J. K. Rowling, please!"

Don't kill Harry off
Or I'll scream 'til my head blows off
You can kill someone else like you know that would
But don't kill Harry off

Don't kill Harry off
Don't ever say, "If you don't like it, tough!"
You can kill someone else like you know that would
But don't kill Harry off

Don't kill Harry off
Or it might kill all of your fans' luck off
You can kill someone else like you know that would
But don't kill Harry off