(1)
A long long time ago
On the Shawmut Peninsula
A British teacher came ashore

And when teaching the Puritans
To read the Bible and keep from sin
He soon found himself with quite a chore

As he was teaching English reading
He could not refrain from seeing
A problem with his printing:
The letter R was missing!

He raised his hands up to the skies
And he proceeded to improvise
Thinking that would still be wise
But centuries went by...

Oh...

(Refrain)
Hahk, hahk, pahk the cah in the yahd,
We know Hahvahd is a college and that Shakespeah's a bahd!
And from out in Wusta to the tip of Cape Cod
We'ah all saddled with an accent that's odd,
Saddled with an accent that's odd!

(2)
Gotta love this crazy town
Wheah the Ahtery just won't come down
Think it's all a fahce, Ah say!

Wheah theah ain't no life past 128,
And let alone outside this state,
Because they don't speak English theah, no way!

They all think that Spahk's some Vulcan dude
Instead of plugs undah the hood
Of mah Fahd Contouah sedan. Those ah sold all ovah the land,

From the Automahl on the Southern Shoah
To the fabled cities of westuhn loah,
The wilds of Route Eighty-Foah
Wheah they don't speak like Ah!

As we'ah singing:
Hahk, hahk...

(3)
Now Ah must admit that Ah've exploahed,
And in fact Ah've gone ovahboahd,
To find out whah they speak so bad.......ly.

Yet all the people Ah've met so fah
Have laughed and said that Ah pahk mah cah
In Hahvahd Yahd. What ah they, mad?

Have ya evah tried to pahk out theah?
You get lost suhcling [circling] in that squauh!
You'd need a Ph.D,
Oah maybe two oah three,

To navigate each one way street
Whahl knockin' tourists off theah feet
And listening to them yell, "Sh...ucks!"
When mah old Fahd goes bah!

As we're singing:
Hahk, hahk...

(4)
Now back in 1636
Poor Roger Williams was in a fix
And he was forced to leave the town

He soon founded another state
And he brought with him those printer's slates
To record the alphabet and write it down

And then under a favored star
He rediscovered the letter R
The letter which, forgotten,
Had left his English rotten

And then for posterity
He put it back with the S and T
And then it surely came to be:
The day the accent died!

So now they're singing:
Hark, hark, park the car in the yard,
We know Harvard is a college and that Shakespeare's a bard.
And from out in Worcester to the tip of Cape Cod
They're all saddled with the accent that's odd!