Look
If you had
The scouts
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your streams watch for paid
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?
Yo

Streamers is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's NUMB3RS on the TV already
Larry 'n' Colby
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm streaming-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting

There's Nick Cannon
Who folks wanna masking it
He takes his mask off
Always says something foul
They're maskin', wow
Wannabes are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel

Shows based on reality
Oh, the humanity!
Oh, Tough as Nails
Stream loves profanity
Whoa, the insanity
Oh, look that tough and pee
Home of depravity?
No, they live happily
Yo

Plus "Blue Bloods"
And "Fire County"
Oh, and there's Zendaya
Well, she's scaring me

"Look ma, no loser time"
Oh, it's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV" They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My streamer gets Paramount+, Disney+, and MGM+
The new Max channel, Netflix, and Peacock (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watchin' TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos" (no)
I'm gonna watch Max, Disney+, and MGM+
The Roku Channel and Max and Apple TV+ (yo)
(You're gonna)

My butt is aching
As I watch NFL football
That show about undertaking
Stephen Colbert
To "FBI" to "The Amazing Race"
NewsNation's boring like "Dateline NBC"'s ancient reporters
Next up on "Unsolved Mysteries"
The mysterious case of a vanishing Savannah girl

Shows for next fall, they've already been namin'
"NCIS: Denver" and "JAG Reboot" both sound pretty lame 'n'
So does "Everybody Just Like That"
And "Young Sheldon" jumped the shark the first minute
I can't believe Dwayne Johnson ain't in it

I'll move right on to watching up "Abbott Elementary"
Then I bet
I watch "Grey's Anatomy"
Followed by watching show "Evil"
And "Stranger Things" where they go to the darkness

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My streamer gets Hulu, Disney+, and MGM+
Paramount+ and Max and Netflix (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me
But I still love Diona Reasonover (drow)
I'm looking at Hulu, Disney+ and MGM+
Apple TV+ and Tubi and Netflix (yo)
(You're Gonna)

Never missed "The Flash" or "Supernatural"
I've seen each "Amazing Race" and "So Help Me Todd"
But I only watched the show "Ghosts" one time one day
Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay

Oh, and "The Boys" I watched maybe a half hour
After that, felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambitions
"Next week on The CW, watch The Spencer Sisters"

Like to tie up those programming planners
Make 'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "The Simpsons"
Leech-covered grub-eatin' snacks on "Bob's Burgers"
Look there's Joey King discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Pete Davison

And there's "Friends" and "SpongeBob", plus there's "CSI: Miami"
And Jimmy Fallon has got Zendaya, hey there's the LA crew on a
Special all crossover episode of "NCIS"

Wanna turn on "E.T." 'cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who Taylor Swift is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot
Then we come back to "Tough as Nails"
I was planning on recording "House of the Dragon"
I forgot

I love shows with or without a plot
I'll stare 'til my streams are numb, my times a striking
Because I only have got
One brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, they'd scold me
But I'd still tune in every show (show)
My streamers gets Tubi, Disney+, and MGM+
Amazon Prime Video and Epix and Hulu (yo)

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"
They told me, cajoled me, "Turn off that Kelly Clarkson show" (no)
I got it on Tubi, Disney+ and MGM+
Lionsgate+ and YouTube Premium and Netflix+ (yo)
(You're gonna)

You can watch anything you want to, man