Look
If you had one shot
To get on the best game show
And solve all of the puzzles you ever wanted
Would you go for it
Or not try to win?

Pat Sajak's ready
Eyes wide, forehead sweaty
The toss-up has been solved already
Just with E and T
Much solving and wheel revolving
And contestants ready
So I watch, money is all they're getting
They buy a vowel
And I wanna disembowel
I know it right now, buying one now is foul
They Bankrupt, wow!
More spinning is messed up, now
No Bonus Round
Time to throw in the towel

With RSTLNE
Solves can be done by me
Hate feuds with family
Never watch Jeopardy
Missolve insanity
Spin for multiple T
Big wins you gotta see
When they solve happily

Yo, it's my favorite game show
Never want it to go
Away from here, you know
It's trapping me
They buy the letter E
Then solve then station break
Better not make anything here, I can't eat and solve it

"You're gonna lose your mind watching the Wheel", how they feel
It's not real, so surreal
So I still tune in every show
I watch them buy A, E, I, and U, and also O
Spinning for letters and solve puzzles, some missolve

"You're gonna lose your mind watching the Wheel", how they feel
It's not real, won't congeal
"Turn off that silly old game show!"
I watch them buy A, E, I, and U, and also O
When they are solving in Bonus Round, some missolve
"You're gonna..."

I see them spinning
As I see one is winning
I have no need for Ken Jennings
Toss-Up 1 to Prize Puzzle to Bonus Round now
The Speed-Up round is boring like the interviews
Reruns, GSN, next up is daytime Wheel of Fortune
Bob Goen is in some, that's really important

Weeks for next fall, they've already been naming
"Wheel and V8 Week" and the "Pet Lovers Week" both sound pretty lame, man
"Wheel loves New York" it sounds just the same and
This episode just got ruined the first minute
I can't believe a Triple Stumper's in it

I'll move right on to the circuitous route to a million dollars
Then I'll bet she would not win
But she got it, and they got her
And the million's won so the puzzles are harder

"You're gonna lose your mind watching the Wheel", how they feel
It's not real, so surreal
So I still tune in every show
I watch them buy A, E, I, and U, and also O
Even when the puzzle's all filled in, some missolve

"You're gonna lose your mind watching the Wheel", how they feel
It's not real, won't congeal
I still think that Wheel's where I should go
I watch them buy A, E, I, and U, and also O
Even when it's a lot that they would win, some missolve

Never miss any win or Final Spin
I've seen someone spin again for quintuple N
But I only no-lettered it one time, one day
Wish I didn't, 'cause watchers think I'm the way

Oh, and three consonants, and also one more vowel
Called a Q there, just like throwing in the towel
Don't know what's up with all these contestants
Think they were put on the show just to test it

Also I like to look at the Vanna
See her sweeping up the board until the puzzle's done, I'm a fan of
Looking at the dresses she wears every day
Look, she wears feathers, I wonder what Sajak and Trebek would just say

And there's new one or a rerun, on every weekday
And Wheel of Fortune's gone to Disney and hey, there's Express Wedge
It just has to put all Wheel Watchers on the edge

RSTLNE, yes, I'm a bonus freak
And I have to know if it is a perfect bonus week
The show here on TV, it is on before Jeopardy
I was planning on recording the good solvers, just for me
I love shows when they do not call Z
I guess 'til my brain is numb, and constantly
'Cause I feel so happy
When Wheel I see
I'm gonna spend my whole life in Wheel of Fortune ecstasy

"You're gonna lose your mind watching the Wheel", how they feel
It's not real, so surreal
So I still tune in every show
I watch them buy A, E, I, and U, and also O
Vanna and Pat hate it when no wins and some missolve

"You're gonna lose your mind watching the Wheel", how they feel
It's not real, won't congeal
"Turn off that Vanna White game show!"
I watch them buy A, E, I, and U, and also O
Maybe I will get on the show one day, no missolve

You can watch all the Wheel you want to, man.