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Song Parodies -> "A Floundering Smile"

Original Song Title:

"A Thousand Miles"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Vanessa Carlton

Parody Song Title:

"A Floundering Smile"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

You ever had a customer go into a long rant about absolute nonsense but you couldn't tell them to piss off because "service with a smile" is hard-coded into the rules? This poor bastard has...
Not the best time to frown, I can't crack
At the mad stuff you said now
Starin' blankly ahead, don't know what to say
A tad insane's how you sound
But I need you
To pay for food
So I can't blunder

When I got trained for retail life
They missed how I'd deal with your type
And so now I've got a flound'rin' smile
I want to run from you, can't lie

Think I might strain my cheeks, I don't know what you
Are really expectin' me to say, you see
Can't offer a coupon or a discount off
When all you spout is conspiracies
Interrupt you?
That I can't do
Pay will go under

My face can't fall, can't scream or cry
Just hope that my shift ends in time, oh-oh
Way before I lose this flound'rin' smile
And my pay's docked 'cause you stand by

Man, I, I'm waitin' for you to go
I, I'm sick of your mad theories
Why, why do you think I'd care though?
I, I don't

Wish I could throw you out, have you banned
But I can't do that right now
Since you're "only talkin'", that's what the rules say
I'm forced to wait, still can't frown
Although I want to
Wanna curse too
As loud as thunder

It's not my call to say "Goodbye!"
No theft to spy, no fists that fly
Without those, I'll keep this flound'rin' smile
Hope it's not stuck, I'd fume, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Line's real long, they all get why
I can't press my alarm switch, I
Just want to die, then this flound'rin' smile
Could then come off, it's true
Need a new job real soon, this bites

I swear there was a Vine where some smashes a Darth Vader toy on a keyboard in a vague approximation of the opening melody, but I can't find it. Oh, well.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
 0
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 5   1
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