The birds flew down from the stratosphere
There's glops of poop on her, in her hair, hey, hey
It's such a bummer and just a shame
That she will have no time to change, hey, hey
Since the ceremony starts right at noon
And tonight we leave on our honeymoon, hey, hey

Tell me aren't you glad that you dressed in white
Did you notice that our doves took flight which just might be related
Outside weddings are overrated

Smell me, did it really reach this far?
Did the birds crap on our car?
And did you miss me while you were walking by yourself out there

Now the birds seem to be in "V" formation
Maybe they'll leave for their Fall migration, hey, hey
They're playing Mozart while she walks the aisle
And slips upon a small white pile, hey, hey

Now that she's sitting there on her rear
I'm afraid that she might think of me as lame ol' Blaine
Told a story about a man who is quick to say goodbye when the bird poop lands

Tell me did you get it wiped off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to remove what the birds excrete
And head back down the aisle today
And tell me, I'd like to meet you there
If you get that crap out of your hair
Or you'll miss me while you are walking by yourself out there

Can you imagine your new bride, smell like the dickens
Your best man always sticking up for you even when he knows you're wrong
Can you imagine the first dance, poop dried romance five-hour old defecation
It's hard for me to say that I....do doo

Tell me did the wind sweep your smell away
Did you finally get the chance to scoop it from your decollete
And head back down the aisle today

[Repeat 1st Chorus]