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Song Parodies -> "Whistles 'Cause She's Dire"

Original Song Title:

"Whistle For The Choir"

Original Performer:

The Fratellis

Parody Song Title:

"Whistles 'Cause She's Dire"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Oh, those petty rivalries in the acting profession...

For those who don't know the (really rather catchy) OS, at the moment it's here on youtube
She hit the big, big city, now she's on the big screen
Must be because she's pretty - flunks every scene
And it's such a slog listening to her mangling her dialogue

Although I may be an actor who is down on his luck
Reckon she may be getting roles because she's willing to smile
I know she's no slouch when it comes to lying on the casting couch

You say I'm only
Talking a load of baloney
Oh but she makes me hurl, and throw.. you say you know
It's jealousy that's talking? No..
She's only
A wooden no-talent phoney
You're damn right that I deny she caught my eye,
What? Me like her? That's inconceivable

I hit the big big city now the lights are on me
But you're never gonna guess who my co-star's gonna be
And I must confess, that tart's a bloody awful
Damsel in distress
Now we've had four weeks of shooting, and it's looking to me
That there is more wood in my co-star than the whole scenery
She's so bad, egad
I'm wondering how many of the cast she's had

You say I'm crazy
Crazy for her? You amaze me
What that stupid girl and me? No way
You talk.. and say
Imply.. that I.. am gay
It's only, a girl like that's never lonely
But now she's all the rage, and so we share the stage
This boy's career is irretrievable

[Sound of whistling... 'cause she's dire]

She won a Tony
How can't they see she's a phoney?
Oh, she's a sexy girl, I know she's just a "ho"
There must have been some quid pro quo
Ignore me,
No, there were no honours for me
I'm in the shade, dismayed, while she gets laid
I'm hoping that she's not

Is it only me who, after reading that parody, thinks it's crying out for a sequel?

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Matthias - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Reminds me of that one Family Guy... Hell, That comment can be used for everything. lol. Great job and great story telling. 5's
alvin - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
good concept...that's what always crosses my mind when i see a good looking actress with zero talent....
Tommy Turtle - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, it's only you... j/k! Describes most of the females in Hollywood for the past fifty years... hey, what about "quim pro quo"? 555
Stephen Harrington - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Impregnable... 555. XD
Embarrassed Turtle - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(blush) Phil, it's sooo tacky to ask someone outright to read a song, *but* as you are the Master of "Major-General", TT was sooo hoping for your expert criticism of his first stab at it a couple days ago (blush). sorry
TJC - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent work, Phil... stunning really, esp. when listened to with your provided youtube link (as, at least to this SoCal Fifties Dude the song is rather obscure!).
T - October 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Also, a response to your WinVista comment.
Phil Alexander - October 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone :-)
TJC - unless you've got teenage kids and live in the UK, I'll be surprised if you've heard of The Fratellis- but I quite like the two or three songs of theirs I know, so best of luck to 'em in becoming world superstars. Thanks for dropping in even though you didn't know the OS
TT - "quim pro quo" - how very apposite, should have thought of that (and will have a look at the Vista comment)
Agrimorfee - October 18, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec2) What a fun little tune, Phil, and a fun little story you made into it. Teen pop in the US sucks compared to this.
Matthias - October 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I agree with Agrimorfee. If there's anything worse than acting rivalry. It's the exact opposite, hearing about who's dating who is annoying as hell.
Below Average Dave ( - October 21, 2007 - Report this comment
(Decathlon2) Hmm. . .I guess my understanding of teen pop is really different from everybody elses. . .anyhow, on the parody. . ."I'm hoping that she's not Impregnable" was an unexpected twist at the very end. I think that it was very creative and great on the word play. Pacing was a little lose-but no more than necessary being that the original was also a bit lose
Kristof Robertson - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(Decathlon 2.2) Although calling this Teen pop is a bit of a stretch, Phil...I love The Frats and thought the parody was a lot of fun (similar in theme to my entry). Great stuff, mate. 555
stuart mcarthur - October 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec2.2) not a bad OS that - never heard it before - the last line was a killer Phil, and a great idea for Dec2.2 as well - 555
bobpiecheese - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
(Decathlon 2.0) Like everyone else, I loved the 'impregnable' twist at the end. Quite funny!
Jeff Reuben - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
The twist at the end was nice, and I enjoyed hearing an unexpected new song!
Jack Wilson - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
( Dec2) This was awesome! 5s
Mikey Squirrel - November 01, 2007 - Report this comment
DEC2- Was this about any actress in particular? Or a composite of most of the no-talent bimbos in Hollywood? Very funny and biting satire with an interesting ending. Well done, Phil.
Arwen - November 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Decathlon...nice work here, Phil...

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