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Song Parodies -> "Stupid, Long Movie"

Original Song Title:

"You Belong With Me"

Original Performer:

Taylor Swift

Parody Song Title:

"Stupid, Long Movie"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Dedicated to every couple with differing tastes in movies. Okay, fine, every couple.
I’m on the phone with my girlfriend, she's upset;
She's going off about Scarlet’s fight with Rhett--
(She doesn’t
Get guy humor like guys do…)

Down at the mall, it’s a CinePlex movie night;
I'd like to see a Woody Allen that doesn’t bite--
But she gets in
Line for tickets and buys two…

‘Cuz I like short works,
She likes features,
She loves musicals,
I'm into creatures,
Documentaries ‘bout some penguins are fine
But what we
Settle on makes me wish I were blind!

If she could see that I’m
The drunk at Sundance who
Voted for “Avatar” and at Cannes, too,
It’s a long movie--
Stupid, long movie!

Stuck in these seats, I’m chewin’ her jelly beans--
An instant classic co-directed by Tom Green!
There’s another fart joke, thinkin’ to myself:
“Hey, isn’t this chee-eesy?”

A juvenile style with an overrated clown,
And even Ebert said it’s vile, gave it two thumbs down;
She says it’s awesome, got a fabulous cast--
So why’d it make me fall asleep so fast?

She loves NetFlix,
I love theaters,
She's more Apatow,
I'm kinda Spielberg,
Arguments on dates ev’ry weekend at nine
‘Bout what’s in-
Telligent ‘bout the filmic design!

If she could see that I’m
The one who understands this!
Who got his M.F.A. at ol’ U.S.C.???
It’s a long movie--

Frequently now, I’m slippin’ out the back door--
“Meet you outside the bathroom in lobby Three-ee-ee--“
It’s a long movie--
Stupid, long movie!

Oh, and those annual
Festivals drag on
Till the middle of the night--
I’m the one who starts to laugh
When she’s just about to cry!
I know she gets annoyed
When I deconstruct the themes
By consulting Jung or Freud;
I think I know what it means…

Can't she see that I'm
The one who understands this
As meta-cinematic apostasy-y-y?
And a long movie!

Give me Fellini, Bergman or Cocteau!
Anything by Truffaut or Bertolucci-i-i!
Not this long movie--
Stupid, long movie!

Has she ever seen my degree?
It’s in Film/T.V.!!!--

Stupid, long movie!
©2010 Bob "Frankly, One's Guy, I Don't Give A Damn" Gomez. I promise an extra verse for every comment posted. Enjoy the Oscars!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Welcome back, Bob! My all-time favorite amiright parody is your Y.O.G.A. - and this one is very good, too. ;D
AFW - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Great whirl thru the world of guy/gal flick incompatibility
Phil Nelson - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Excellently written
Bob Gomez - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Extra verse dedicated to Old Man Ribber: "She loves action, I like geek-nerds/She's Greek Orthodox, I'm into bleep-words..."
Bob Gomez - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Extra verse dedicated to AirFarceWon: "She likes chick flicks, I like violence/ She loved “Moulin Rouge”, I’d prefer silents..."
Bob Gomez - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Extra verse dedicated to Phil Nelson: "She liked “Clueless,” I liked “Mean Girls,”/ She’s “Ms. Cabaret,” I’m “Mr. Dreamgirls”..." Thanks for your comments!
The Charnstar - June 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey, this totally explains my relationship! NO, I'm joking, I like my girlfriends taste of movies with the exclusion of a few (Sex and the City) 5's!

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