I need a meal of a smaller size
Can't eat one more thing or my diet will break
Took a while to learn to ignore my gut-ache
Hold the desert, my friend, know if I take a bite
Then I will not stop, aaargh

One more crumb and then my belt will snap
So I need you to reach and slap
My hand if I reach over t'wards the cake
I can't resist a tiny snack
So I'll let you give me a whack
With ev'ry "drink milk" attempt that I make
I wanna stay on this diet, mate
So any gram of bonus weight
Is proof that I'm a worthless failure, boy
May seem that I overreact
By askin' you to take a bat
And smash my knees when I find Chips Ahoy

At this point, I'll cave with just one fry
So I'll need a quick nut-shot to jolt my brain
It's a fair trade-off for no diet breakin'

Hard to curb my hunger when ev'rything's on sale, it blows
Want those Reese's Pieces, but I can't let my weight grow
May sound like insanity, but it makes sense to me
For you to grind my toenails instead of eatin' cheese

Don't want to buy bigger pants, alright?
So if I tell you about my stomach pain
Give me diff'rent kinds of hurt, you have free reign
Pull on my hair or stick a fork up my backside
Might have parts ripped off, it's worth no weight gainin'

Bars of choc, that is what my gut craves
Huge lamb chops, that is what my gut craves
All your schnapps, that is what my gut craves
Grease nonstop, that is what my gut craves

Know that I weigh only sixty-five
Kilograms, which is, I think, a decent weight
But I know that once I start, can't stop intake
Of all the food I want, until I'm Jabba-like
I need you to stomp my foot so I'll stop it