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Song Parodies -> "No Dumb Refunds"

Original Song Title:

"Soak Up the Sun"

Original Performer:

Sheryl Crow

Parody Song Title:

"No Dumb Refunds"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Otherwise known as "approximately 50% of Not Always Right".
Why is this prominent?
Customers come up to me
They want to get their cash
Returned back to them quite promptly
The cost was minimal
But that means diddly squat
If they don't get what they want
They're gonna scream a lot

I'm sorry, no dumb refunds
That's just our policy, bud so please shut up
Afraid that you bought that
Microwave back in May
The one two years ago, mate, so just give up
I give out no dumb refunds
Sorry, but no dumb refunds

This is a crummy job
It don't pay near enough
To deal with the ingrates
Who toss the receipts like junk
"Didn't think it mattered"? Wow
Ten times this month, you've come to shout
That you want your cash back, true
Did you forget why I refused?

I, I'm sorry, no dumb refunds
Not gonna tell you you're dumb to your face, cause
I would get sacked for that
But the one who's to blame
For you not gettin' to claim cash is you, bud
I give out no dumb refunds
Might have your receipt
Still give out no dumb refunds
Cause there's no proper cause, see

I'm used to your base need
To yell those swear words at me
But I won't budge from my position
Manager you'll never see
Heard you claim it's broke, but how?
I need to see it myself now
Don't say "give me a sec", dude
I know that's the code for you to
Smash it a rock or two

I'm sorry, no dumb refunds
The louder your swears become, the more my thumb
Twitches closer to that
Nice red button that makes
The mall security race to your shocked mug
I'm sorry, no dumb refunds
If I had wasted my bucks, I'd cause no fuss (yes, zero fuss)
You don't get cred for that
I will not escalate
You haven't earned it, so take a hint here, bud (get a clue, bud)
I, I give out no dumb refunds
I have to ask you stop, put your pants back on

The other 50% being, of course, "gimme a discount, wage drone!".

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