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Song Parodies -> "Hedgin' My Bets"

Original Song Title:

"Gettin' Some"

Original Performer:

Shawnna

Parody Song Title:

"Hedgin' My Bets"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Sometimes you wanna do all you can to help your friends succeed. Just be sure that doesn't edge into "felony" territory...
Hedgin', hedgin', hedgin', h-hedgin' (just sayin'), hedgin', h-hedgin'

I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I was only makin' sure that you had no loss (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
No real need to make me hurt (yo), at least, I hope not (what's wrong with)

What's wrong with havin' some contingencies (think, please)?
Just in case your marathon runnin' ended iffy (iffy)
Sure, your practice runs were good, but please just stay with me (with me)
Always gonna be some nonsense that you can't predict, see (stinks, see)
So I thought I'd plan for 'em, as much as they can be
Really don't know why you're tryin' to straight up attack me
How can you not like me? Planned for bumpy tracks, see
I repaved it all for good, no more damn cracks, geez
You need a flat track, see, you're mad at that? Please
Then I snuck ground chili in their slacks, that's me
Either they're just itchy or their nads straight freak
Just givin' you the edge you want to run more free
But now you're all like "Hey, that was awful, what in all of the heck?
Not only is that friggin' dickish, I'd get docked for your "help""
Quotation marks are soundin' stark, I didn't know that could be
Still don't know why there's a problem, had to do what I did

I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
Why am I the biggest jerk? We both got no loss (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
Don't what I did was worse (honest) than drugs your foes pop

I think your whole reaction is a little much (little much)
What I did's not worth gaspin' or callin' the po-po up (po-po up)
You have to believe me, just tryna give you what you want (what you want)
And if I'm bein' honest, don't think I'm the only one (only one)
News is always floatin' round about the dopin' up on drugs
And though the world's appalled, the stoppin' of it doesn't stop
And so I think I'm simply doin' similiar-type stuff
But just replace injections with rope-trippin' them all up
Sometimes, I'm shoe sole greasin' to make ev'rybody slip (slip, slip, slip)
And other times cementin', turn their sneakers into bricks (bricks, bricks, bricks)
Swap their drinks with gravy, rubberize all of their kit (kit, kit, kit)
Or just hit them with hammers, not to murder, let that stick (stick)
I wagered lots of cash upon you takin' the big win (take the big win)
And if you didn't, that would decimate all of my plans (all of my plans)
Sure, your skills are legit, akin to Sonic as a man (as a real man)
But I just had to know that I wouldn't lose all that bread (lose that bread)

I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
All the others had to hurt and make a slow stop (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
I'm just hedgin' my bets (honest), hedgin', hedgin' my bets (believe me)
Still don't get why I'm the jerk (honest) when they're all doped, god
I'm just hedgin', hedgin'
Hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin', hedgin'
Itchy powder in their shirts, snakes in their gross socks
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
I'm just hedgin' my bets, hedgin', hedgin' my bets
Come on, none of my plans worked, just let this roll off
I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just

I considered making the "nuts straight freak" line "nuts straight bleed", but I figured that might be a tad too far.

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Total Votes: 13

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