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Song Parodies -> "Never Had a Seam Come Loose"

Original Song Title:

"Never Had a Dream Come True"

Original Performer:

S Club 7

Parody Song Title:

"Never Had a Seam Come Loose"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Once was pants. Now less than pants. That's all you get, this song rotted my brain.

Everybody's got something that happens the first time
Not prepared for that, the shame is a feeling that's now mine
I look like such a prat, my coverings (my coverings)
Cover much less now, more to be seen (more to be seen)
They're things that nobody should look at without my say-so

I never had a seam come loose
'Til today, cold breeze runs through
Over my private bits, this feels so wrong
Can someone out there save me?
Don't want all my skin on display (all of my skin's on display)
Think I'm gonna stay inside today (no damn way I'll stay outside today)
How could this have happened? Have to think it through
Once I've replaced these scraps, they've lost their use, yeah

I'm not active physic'lly, so it can't be just time (ha, ha, ha, ha)
That's unravelled the pants off me, so something must have poked me from behind
And hooked a stitch to leave me flustering (I'm flustering)
Pulled the whole thing out, where can it be (where can it be)?
I'm looking low and high so someone else can patch my clothes

I never had a seam come loose
'Til today so I need you
To come and fix the thread that's come undone
It's not because I'm lazy
Before this awful, too-cold day (mis'rable and cold-ass day)
Never had a real reason to gain (never really had reason to gain)
The skills and equipment one needs to sew, true
But now I need a non-dead seam

Somehow one teeny seam was the lynchpin
To this thing, the whole thing, the whole damn thing, so crazy
Soon as it was undone, I know I'll never forget
My poor neighbour's face, I've been wondering (been wondering)
If she'll ever forget that awful thing (my awful thing)
Will you just let me whine and whine or help me? Would be nice
No, no, no, no

I never had a seam come loose
'Til today, I'm really screwed
What I had on my legs were a one-off
The price was pretty crazy
I kept those things so pristine, mate (always kept them pristine, mate)
Never had a cut, rip or a stain (never had a tear, splotch or a stain)
Normally a magnet for disaster, true
I dodged that, see the past tense? Geez
I really need a fixed-up seam from you

The one interesting thing about this song is the fact that it's the one S Club 7 song that never charted in Australia, yet it's their only real hit in America. That sure weirded me out when I learned it, in part because I guess I just assumed they were American, but nope! Brits. Same as the Spice Girls. Same manager, too.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Me - July 14, 2022 - Report this comment
This parody fell apart at the seans

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