Its 7 o'clock in the morning and a voice from around wakes me
I'm crying and moaning wondering how to get this screaching away from me
But then a girl emerges from my bathroom
And I'm thinkin "Oh, s***, I need to stay off the shrooms"
She's got this look on her face that makes me wanna run
Just imagine a chick a with a Michael Jackson complextion
I must've lost the track of time
Or maybe I went blind
I feel like I'm in a movie and its not fine
This b**** is close encounters of the third kind
So now I am quickly trying to but on my pants
But then I realize they are another mans
Then she sticks her hands in front of it and says "Kells says he needs those to stay"
And I'm like "Who the f*** is Kells? B**** please get out of my way"
I said "I think I wanna go home"
She said "Please don't leave out there"
I don't even know how I got in this home
She said "my husband is coming up the stairs"
"Shh, shh, quiet, hurry up and hide in the closet"
She said "Don't you make a peep, or my ass will be out on the street"
I said "Why don't I just hide up in the bathtub"
She said "Cause R.Kelly is making a video bout a backrub"
S***, think, s***, think, s*** damn I'm in an R.Kelly video
Now I'm up in this closet hearing oohs and whoos
Wonderin why I'm listen to this n**** sing like Scooby Doo
Then her husband walks in and looks around
He says "Honey I'm back from town"
And I'm thinking damn this s***, I'm hiding in a closet next to a wedding gown
I jump on out the closet and say "I can't do this any longer"
And then he startles me and say "Oh how you doin Oscar"
"How you doin man, are you enjoing your week off?"
I can only respond with "Yeah, I guess you could say I enjoy getting off"
I couldn't believe it but things got stranger than my boss finding me with his wife in his room
He says "Man did you R.Kelly is shooting a video in our bathroom"
We walked up to the door and there was a sign on the center
It said you must be under 18 to enter
I put my ear to the door to hear what they were tryna do
But all I could hear was "Yeah , you like Barney, he's my favorite too"
We opened the bathroom and looked around the door
But it was so wet we almost fell out on the floor
We looked around the shower curtain and saw a brown podium
So many young girls standing around it you would've thought it was Nickolodean
Turn left there's a head, then R.Kelly says,
"Open your mouth Crissay, tell me what I drank today"
I turn and say "hello"
He said "how you do fellow"
And he had aim like Carmelo
Cause he pissed at turned that girl yellow, yellow, yellow