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Song Parodies -> "Hey There Maria"
Original Song Title:
"Hey There Delilah"
Original Performer:
Plain White Ts
Parody Song Title:
"Hey There Maria"
Parody Written by:
Red Ant
The Lyrics
The Plain White Ts could have sung about a different girl, but didn't for reasons I go into...
Check out my recording at Soundclick.com!
Check out my recording at Soundclick.com!
Hey there, Maria
I'd like to thank you much for last night
'cause four hour sex marathons
They are my favorite pastime
So divine...
When we crossed the finish line
I felt all right
Days since I've seen ya
And I'm tossing and I'm turning
But it's not because I'm lonely
It's because my pee-pee's burning!
Oh this sucks...
There is an aching in my nuts
I'm making pus
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Hope... it's not an STD...
Crotch it wasn't clean...
Need panacea
To fight off this bad infection
And in hindsight I can say that
I should have used "pro"-tection
For my wood...
It seems pulling out did no good
I thought it would
Drank some tequila
'cause I'm dealing with this damn pain
I just heard back from the doctor's
the results... of my Gram Stain:
It's positive...
I wonder if I'm gonna live...
Say what gives?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
No... another STD...
A thousand bucks was very steep
Considering that I can't sleep
On my stomach is one place I cannot lay...
There's one more thing that you must know
And I will tell you when I go
For now there's only one thing I can say...
Maria, you should go get checked
I think you have a vage defect!
My world will never ever be the same...
And you're to blame.....
It's gonorrhea
I have ep-i-did-y-mitis
Big Jim and the Twins are thinking
that you've given it to spite us
Yes, it's true...
You know it's all because of you...
You really know how to make us blue...
"Pay Less Maria": no virtue...
Risk Avenue...
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
No... another STD...
Crotch it wasn't clean...
Woe ...
I'd like to thank you much for last night
'cause four hour sex marathons
They are my favorite pastime
So divine...
When we crossed the finish line
I felt all right
Days since I've seen ya
And I'm tossing and I'm turning
But it's not because I'm lonely
It's because my pee-pee's burning!
Oh this sucks...
There is an aching in my nuts
I'm making pus
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Hope... it's not an STD...
Crotch it wasn't clean...
Need panacea
To fight off this bad infection
And in hindsight I can say that
I should have used "pro"-tection
For my wood...
It seems pulling out did no good
I thought it would
Drank some tequila
'cause I'm dealing with this damn pain
I just heard back from the doctor's
the results... of my Gram Stain:
It's positive...
I wonder if I'm gonna live...
Say what gives?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
No... another STD...
A thousand bucks was very steep
Considering that I can't sleep
On my stomach is one place I cannot lay...
There's one more thing that you must know
And I will tell you when I go
For now there's only one thing I can say...
Maria, you should go get checked
I think you have a vage defect!
My world will never ever be the same...
And you're to blame.....
It's gonorrhea
I have ep-i-did-y-mitis
Big Jim and the Twins are thinking
that you've given it to spite us
Yes, it's true...
You know it's all because of you...
You really know how to make us blue...
"Pay Less Maria": no virtue...
Risk Avenue...
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
Oh... girl what'd you do to me?
Oh... girl what'd you give to me?
No... another STD...
Crotch it wasn't clean...
Woe ...
2007+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 16 | 18 | 17 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
That was awesome! 5s
pretty catchy
Extra credit for Gram Stain.
Looks like Maria gets around
Big Jim and the twins!! LOL Jack - and the pronunciation of Maria suggests Maria Carey, so NICE work Big Jim! - some very funny lines, Jack, and great idea for this soon-to-be top ten amiright parody OS (I'm tipping) - 555
Red, this is one of your best and easily the best of today... LMAO
Pay less, Maria. Good stuff, Red Ant.
Looks like you got screwed twice, Jack! Uncomfortably wonderful. 555
Thanks Jack, Alvin, John, AFW, Stu, Macphisto, John and Kristof!
John: I'm glad I took the time to include it!
AFW: Her mother was probably Runaround Sue that Dion sang about all those years ago...
Stu: Thanks, mate. I've never heard Mariah's name pronounced with an "e" sound though. TOS has ~24 parodies now at AmiRight. I don't think this one is going to make 40 any time soon like "You're Beautiful" did.
Macphisto: Kind words, dude. This song had 80 plays at Soundclick yesterday (its first full day there), which is double my previous high. I estimate that girls named Maria now have a 0.05% less chance of getting laid (or getting paid, lol).
Kristof: I was half expecting to be screwed at the starting gate: I was sure Malcolm had already beaten me to this idea for this song, but, alas, he hadn't. Good thing this parody is a work of fiction, otherwise the missus would be *quite* upset. :D
John: I'm glad I took the time to include it!
AFW: Her mother was probably Runaround Sue that Dion sang about all those years ago...
Stu: Thanks, mate. I've never heard Mariah's name pronounced with an "e" sound though. TOS has ~24 parodies now at AmiRight. I don't think this one is going to make 40 any time soon like "You're Beautiful" did.
Macphisto: Kind words, dude. This song had 80 plays at Soundclick yesterday (its first full day there), which is double my previous high. I estimate that girls named Maria now have a 0.05% less chance of getting laid (or getting paid, lol).
Kristof: I was half expecting to be screwed at the starting gate: I was sure Malcolm had already beaten me to this idea for this song, but, alas, he hadn't. Good thing this parody is a work of fiction, otherwise the missus would be *quite* upset. :D
No, even here we pronounce Mariah with a hard "i" sound, but I decided to read this parody pronouncing Maria with a hard "I" sound too, to rhyme with Delilah, which is why I suggested it was written about Mariah Carey.
Even here, Maria usually has an "e" sound, but it can have an "i" sound, as in "They Call The Wind Maria", so I chose that pronunciation just for the benefit of the delilah rhyme
Even here, Maria usually has an "e" sound, but it can have an "i" sound, as in "They Call The Wind Maria", so I chose that pronunciation just for the benefit of the delilah rhyme
Ah, I see! I was thinking it was a dialect thing. Pronouncing Maria the way you read it kinda throws off the rhyming in the following title lines, though "gone-awry-ya" would be an interesting play on "gonorrhea". =)
"gone-awry-ya"...A superb double-entendre. I like this..this...Maria chick
555 shots of penicillin!
Free sex means that you have to go to the free clinic I guess...
Thanks Purrl and Peter. I did this song at karaoke last Friday night... could have gone better with a male DJ perhaps... and a crowd of more than 3 people.
DKTOS, I'm afraid. But I enjoyed the read, it was very funny.
SOTM - Here's your setup for a possible part 2:
Hey there, Jack Fletcher
Ma like to thank you much for last night
sex in darkness marathons
They are her favorite pastime
Yes we swapt
And now I know it was inapt...
Hey there, Jack Fletcher
Ma like to thank you much for last night
sex in darkness marathons
They are her favorite pastime
Yes we swapt
And now I know it was inapt...
Good
555: even though I feel a bit 'saddle sore'!
(SOTM) An interesting twist...sometimes the title is the least important part of a parody. Very funny!
- Originality: (C): Bob River's did a parody about this same topic using the same song. It's the top song on this page: (http://www.bobrivers.com/audiovault/tunes/tunesbydate.asp). You probably didn't know about this song, but sadly I'll have to mark off points on originality, because of this. -Pacing: (B+): Some of the lines you sung sounded kind of stressed against the original song, but overall it was a pretty good turn out. -Comedy: (C): I usually love your parodies, but this fell under your section of "gross" parodies that I usually stay away from in my book. -Overall: (C): I've read plenty of Red Ant parodies to know that your stuff usually kicks ass, this parody however wasn't one of my favorites by you, it just didn't stand out among the rest of the litter, it was a pretty average parody.
Thanks to Smeg, Peter, Max, Cupcakes, Aggy and Matthias!
Matt: You are correct in that I was unaware of Bob River's parody. I don't listen to Bob River's because, in all honesty, he is a half-assed parodist. The fact that he only did 3 verses and an abbreviated bridge to a relatively short song (this one) proves it. While I respect your opinion, I totally disagree about the 'originality' part - it is possible for two (or more) people to come up with similar ideas independent of one another - see the 6 parodies of "Hey Aunt Jemima" here to this song.
Peter: I like the "Maria's Response" version, but I wouldn't want to be unfavorably compared to Spaff's parody of this same song lest I be considered unoriginal...
Matt: You are correct in that I was unaware of Bob River's parody. I don't listen to Bob River's because, in all honesty, he is a half-assed parodist. The fact that he only did 3 verses and an abbreviated bridge to a relatively short song (this one) proves it. While I respect your opinion, I totally disagree about the 'originality' part - it is possible for two (or more) people to come up with similar ideas independent of one another - see the 6 parodies of "Hey Aunt Jemima" here to this song.
Peter: I like the "Maria's Response" version, but I wouldn't want to be unfavorably compared to Spaff's parody of this same song lest I be considered unoriginal...
(SOTM-NOV) Maria-cul-ous cure for your dip-whizzy.
RA: Hey doc it only hurts when I whiz.
Doc: Gee Whiz.
RA: Hey doc it only hurts when I whiz.
Doc: Gee Whiz.
(SOTM) Comment above
(SOTM) Very good, but who the hell is Maria?!
(SOTM) even better on second reading, Jack - beautiful pacing, and I loved the catchline idea "Oh... girl what'd you give to me?" - the rest of your lines build around that very cleverly
(SOTM) This was so perfectly paced that I can set aside the 'EW' factor that set in once I read the first few lines.
(SOTM) My comment as a written parody was that while my opinion does differ with Matthias, I think that I actually enjoyed the recording a bit more than the written version, but still a good write.
SOTM- Something tells me you should stay away from this Maria girl. Very funny and well done, Ant.
(SOTM) See above. I'm a sucker for sexual misadventure parodies, and this was a welcome addition to that canon.
Hmm... thought I'd commented here already.. this OS is definitely becoming an amiright staple - just before this one came out, I was thinking of a "She's there: Maria" as a face-of-the-virgin-in-a-spring-roll parody (if you see what I mean), then I read this and kind of got distracted.
I guess I was bound to catch this sometime :) I absolutely hate the OS, so I'm glad to have some new lyrics to sing when I hear it.
See above!
Hey thanks everybody. Jason: just some girl named "Maria".
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