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Song Parodies -> "(Used to be a) Rockstar"
Original Song Title:
"Rockstar"
Original Performer:
Nickelback
Parody Song Title:
"(Used to be a) Rockstar"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
I'm through with snortin' a line
And chugging litres of gin
And readin' stories in the paper
'Bout my life of sex and sin
Still, it hasn't turned out
Quite the way I that thought it would be
(tell me what it's like)
I got a great big house
Out here in Beverley Hills
That my fifth ex wants to pay the divorce bills
And you've seen the pictures, 'cause I got
No privacy
(yeah, so what you need)
I wanna give it all up, but I can't give them in
I filled my nicorette patch with amphetamine
I was climbin' real high, but
I fell right outta the tree
(Been there done that)
I got splinters from smashing up an old guitar
And a blocked-up nose from snorting caviar
And a flippin' flippin' quad bike
Very nearly killed me
(So why'd you do it?)
I won't deny that I've had mucho fun
But I look eighty-four although I'm thirty-one
[CHORUS]
'Cause I'm a washed-up wannabe ex-rockstar
Now I lost my license when I crashed the car
The girls were easy and the drugs were cheap
Now I gotta take a dozen pills to get to sleep
And I've had enough of hangin' out in bars
And I got mouth cancer from the big cigars
Every old gold digger's
Had a piece of me
Every week-long wife
Wants alimony
You know..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
But after one night partying with my groupies
I picked up twenty-seven diff'rent STDs
Check into the clinic
Try and get my dick sick-free
(I have a spirochete-a... on the house)
I'm gonna give my ex
A dose of the pox
I got a front door key but now she changed the locks
'Cause I did a centerfold that loves to
Blow for money for me
(So now ya sayin' "screw it"?)
I traded half my life
For fortune and fame
So when my life's cut short
Was it worth the game?
'Cause I'm a clapped-out coke-snorting ex-rockstar
And you have to keep telling me where we are
I got a big problem with technology
Can't figure out how to use the DVD
I still hang out in the coolest bars
Though my face looks like I could have come from Mars
My eyelids have hardened
Don't it make me weep
Yeah, an' I've got wrinkles
Seven inches deep
Wasn't always the wreck that you now can see
"Wasted" in the dictionary
Has a photo of me
Kids run away screaming
When I try to smile
So now I got my therapist on speed dial
well..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
And now I sing my songs
To a shrinking audience
As my band is playin'
Not guitars: accordians
I'm a washed-up singer who can't write a song
And my brain is kinda fried, so I get the words wrong
Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
As a life's ambition, hell, it's kinda bizarre
Now I'm addicted, drugs don't come cheap
And I'm anorexic, 'cause I didn't eat
My chest is covered with hot-rock scars
And my lungs are coated with cigarette tar
I got emphysema
And a vacant stare
Had chemotherapy
And lost my hair
And I know I'm last year's man, because
I'm not in "Who's Who"
But I'm in "Who Was"
Lost my nasal septum
I got six-inch piles
And I got my proctologist on speed dial, well..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
And chugging litres of gin
And readin' stories in the paper
'Bout my life of sex and sin
Still, it hasn't turned out
Quite the way I that thought it would be
(tell me what it's like)
I got a great big house
Out here in Beverley Hills
That my fifth ex wants to pay the divorce bills
And you've seen the pictures, 'cause I got
No privacy
(yeah, so what you need)
I wanna give it all up, but I can't give them in
I filled my nicorette patch with amphetamine
I was climbin' real high, but
I fell right outta the tree
(Been there done that)
I got splinters from smashing up an old guitar
And a blocked-up nose from snorting caviar
And a flippin' flippin' quad bike
Very nearly killed me
(So why'd you do it?)
I won't deny that I've had mucho fun
But I look eighty-four although I'm thirty-one
[CHORUS]
'Cause I'm a washed-up wannabe ex-rockstar
Now I lost my license when I crashed the car
The girls were easy and the drugs were cheap
Now I gotta take a dozen pills to get to sleep
And I've had enough of hangin' out in bars
And I got mouth cancer from the big cigars
Every old gold digger's
Had a piece of me
Every week-long wife
Wants alimony
You know..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
But after one night partying with my groupies
I picked up twenty-seven diff'rent STDs
Check into the clinic
Try and get my dick sick-free
(I have a spirochete-a... on the house)
I'm gonna give my ex
A dose of the pox
I got a front door key but now she changed the locks
'Cause I did a centerfold that loves to
Blow for money for me
(So now ya sayin' "screw it"?)
I traded half my life
For fortune and fame
So when my life's cut short
Was it worth the game?
'Cause I'm a clapped-out coke-snorting ex-rockstar
And you have to keep telling me where we are
I got a big problem with technology
Can't figure out how to use the DVD
I still hang out in the coolest bars
Though my face looks like I could have come from Mars
My eyelids have hardened
Don't it make me weep
Yeah, an' I've got wrinkles
Seven inches deep
Wasn't always the wreck that you now can see
"Wasted" in the dictionary
Has a photo of me
Kids run away screaming
When I try to smile
So now I got my therapist on speed dial
well..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
And now I sing my songs
To a shrinking audience
As my band is playin'
Not guitars: accordians
I'm a washed-up singer who can't write a song
And my brain is kinda fried, so I get the words wrong
Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
As a life's ambition, hell, it's kinda bizarre
Now I'm addicted, drugs don't come cheap
And I'm anorexic, 'cause I didn't eat
My chest is covered with hot-rock scars
And my lungs are coated with cigarette tar
I got emphysema
And a vacant stare
Had chemotherapy
And lost my hair
And I know I'm last year's man, because
I'm not in "Who's Who"
But I'm in "Who Was"
Lost my nasal septum
I got six-inch piles
And I got my proctologist on speed dial, well..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 2 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 16 | 18 | 18 |
User Comments
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The aftermath of the original song, went from wanting to be a rockstar, to being a rockstar, to being a sell out rockstar, and finally a washed out rockstar. Great original song choice Phil!
Thanks, Matthias - strange, have to admit I thought sticking the widget to play the song at the top might help... but I guess not :-)
(SOTM) I liked this. The chorus was good. 555
(SOTM) Funny as hell...and a fine performance to boot!
555 lines of...
SOTM - You already know I love this one, it's a total scandal that it has so few votes and comments, might even be SOTY so far IMHO.
Very good singing, lyrics and recording, Phil! Solid throughout and funny.
(SOTM) Loved the performance. I really dislike the OS, so it's good to get new (and better) lyrics in there when I hear it on the radio every 5 minutes. Well done!
SOTM - I'm with Jeff, this OS annoys the hell out of me. And are there really 27 STDs? :-)
This parody are why I'll stick to my stable engineering job and never try to make a living in music. The entertainment industry will chew you up and spit you out when you start to lose your flavor (theres a metaphor for ya). 555
This parody are why I'll stick to my stable engineering job and never try to make a living in music. The entertainment industry will chew you up and spit you out when you start to lose your flavor (theres a metaphor for ya). 555
Thanks, everyone :-) (funny, I was sure I'd get a comment about snorting caviar...)
McK - Are there 27? Probably... I nearly got up to that many here: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/queen150.shtml - but I'm sure you could make a "Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight" parody from that idea
McK - Are there 27? Probably... I nearly got up to that many here: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/queen150.shtml - but I'm sure you could make a "Does your chewing gum lose its flavour on the bedpost overnight" parody from that idea
Phli, McKludge...as any Weird Al fan would tell you, 27 is one of the funniest numbers in the mathematical spectrum. :)
(SOTM) So that's what you sound like. That being said, this was very good. For whatever reason, all of the descriptions given make the ex-rockstar sound like Kieth Richards if he got married a few more times.
See above. This ROCKS!!!
(SOTM) 27 STD's ? that's pretty nasty. . .overall this was a good write, I think it made for a good recording. . .not a bad write either.
(SOTM-Jun-08) "I picked up twenty-seven diff'rent STDs" I had no idea there were that many of them one could catch. I can only name a handful and thank-you, I have never contracted one. I had a guy in the USAF tell me once when I had about 60 days in the military that he spent more time in the VD clinic than I spent in the entire damn war. He was in Nam and Thailand just prior to coming back to a stateside assignment. I wondered if he was bragging or complaining. In a way this fellow reminds me a bit of your "Rock Star". Extremely well done.
fantastic stuff Phil!
Tons of great lines here on this re-re-read such as "But I look eighty-four although I'm thirty-one", and "I picked up twenty-seven diff'rent STDs", and "And you have to keep telling me where we are", and "I'm not in "Who's Who"/ But I'm in "Who Was""... Brilliant recording to boot your naturally British accent makes it seem like the singer of this parody is a drugged out Keith Richards or Mick Jagger or something. I loved it!
Fantastic job here Phil. I just love the whole "bash the old rock stars" thing.
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