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Song Parodies -> "Chris Benoit"

Original Song Title:

"Rockstar"

Original Performer:

Nickelback

Parody Song Title:

"Chris Benoit"

Parody Written by:

Chris Wolvie

The Lyrics

Earlier this month, World Wrestling Entertainment suspended a dozen professional wrestlers for receiving steroids and human-growth hormones (HGHs) over an extended period of time. Somehow, wanting to be a "big rockstar" and wanting to be a big pro-wrestler involve the same mindless risks...particularly when the "drugs come cheap". We all heard that Chris Benoit killed his family and himself partially because of steroids...so what were the OTHERS thinking? Probably...this. Share and enjoy!
They're through with standin' in line for belts they never will win
And being bumped off of RAW and SmackDown! time and again
This "jobber" life isn't turning out how they want to be
(So what do they want?)

They want a title shot live on a pay-per-view
And a fireworks intro red and blue
And a brand new T-shirt for kids to buy and see
(Yea, so what they need?)

They need a steroid shot and some HGHs
So that they'll have muscles just like Triple H's
Just as long as they pass every drug test there has to be
(Been there, pissed that)

That should get they're carrers off to roarin' starts
Till they over-use them and explode their hearts
Or they go bat-crazy and they kill everyone they see
(So how they gonna do that?)

They're gonna trade their honor for fortune and fame
Gonna get presciptions under some false name

'Cause they all haven't learned a thing from Chris Benoit
Or when Ed Guerrero had to push too far
The pecs come easy 'cause the drugs come cheap
But hide your children when they make them freak
They want the spotlights so they kill their pride
And they hope they won't commit suicide
When they let promoters get inside their head
They will shoot up steroids till they wind up dead
And well...

Hey, hey, they all forget Chris Benoit
Hey, hey, they all forget Chris Benoit

But Vinnie said, "I do not care for more legal hassles;
I will find all the cheaters and suspend those (BEEP!)s!"
And they were all kicked out, from Funaki up to Kennedy.
(KE-E-E-E-NE-E-E-E-E-DYYYYYYYY!)

William Regal and Umaga have been dredged
And Adam Copeland thought he had an "Edge"
They all should've never taken from the same pharmacy!
(So how the heck they do it?!)

Well, they traded their honor for fortune and fame
Prol'ly get presciptions under some false names

'Cause they all haven't learned a thing from Chris Benoit
Or when Ed Guerrero had to push too far
The pecs come easy 'cause the drugs come cheap
But hide your children when they make them freak
They want the spotlights so they kill their pride
And they hope they won't commit suicide
When they let promoters get inside their head
They will shoot up steroids till they wind up dead
And they'll be 'bout happy as can be
Sayin', "What happened to Pillman just won't happen to me!"
Long as they're not "roid ragin'" with evil smiles
Everybody's got the pharmacist on speed dial, well
Hey, hey, they all forget Chris Benoit

They want the crowd's approval and assorted knick-knacks
Gonna pop those pills like assorted Tic-Tacs
Beat washed-up wrestlers and then rise to fame
But when they get caught, only them they'll blame...

'Cause they all haven't learned a thing from Chris Benoit
Or when Ed Guerrero had to push too far
The pecs come easy 'cause the drugs come cheap
But hide your children when they make them freak
They want the spotlights so they kill their pride
And they hope they won't commit suicide
When they let promoters get inside their head
They will shoot up steroids till they wind up dead
And they'll be 'bout happy as can be
Sayin', "What happened to Pillman just won't happen to me!"
Long as they're not "roid ragin'" with evil smiles
Everybody's got the pharmacist on speed dial, well

Hey, hey, they all forget Chris Benoit
Hey, hey, they all forget Chris Benoit
Remember, kids; to become a wrestler, you should train, say your prayers and eat your steroi...er, vitamins.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 2
 
 5   6
 7
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Andrew D. Lacroix - September 14, 2007 - Report this comment
As a fan of the late Rabid Wolverine, Eddie Guerrero, a WWE fan, and Nickelback enthusiast, this song makes some sense. It's a dam shame that they have to resort to steriods. They oughta be suspended longer like they do in cycling. Great song and have some 5's.
Red Ant - September 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Don't know the original, but this looks very well written.
T-Mac - September 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Well Done 555
Johnny Pyro - September 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Very funny parody. The pacing was a little off, and you spelled Career wrong, but other than that......great parody! :)
Tarik Catovic - February 28, 2012 - Report this comment
Chris Benoit was the best!

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