Never made it as a young man
Anyway, not with a real live female
But if I was a well-hung man...
So I answered an "enlargement" email

Oh, but now it's so tiny
Oh, no now it's so tiny
So small it's nearly gone
Oh, no now it's so tiny
So small it's nearly gone

Know it's hard, just to think it
Didn't know that it'd go and shrink it
What kind of evil genie
Has given me a teeny weenie?
It's been up, it's been down
But the difference, there ain't a lottle
These six words you just said:
"Is that big as it gets?"

Gets, gets, gets, oh, no
Gets, gets, gets, oh, no

I felt your disappointment
In the heat of our romantic clinches
But before I tried the ointment
I swear to you that it was seven inches

Oh, but now it's so tiny
So small it's nearly gone
Oh, no now it's so tiny
So small it's nearly gone

I'm gonna make 'em sorry
For sellin' me a worthless story
I'll be a real meanie
Because I got a teeny weenie
I'm so mad, I'll come down
Hard on 'em like a ton of bottles
These five words that you said
Scream "Is it even in yet?"

Yet, yet, yet, no, no
Yet, yet, yet, no, no
Yet, yet, yet, no, no
Yet, yet, yet, no, no

Never make it as an old man
Anyway, not with a real live female
Because now it's so tiny
Oh, no now it's so tiny
Boo hoo, now it's so tiny
So small it's nearly gone
Oh, no now it's so tiny
So small it's nearly gone

Not goin' out, hereafter
In my swimming trunks I just cause laughter
I ain't no Jean Genie
Struttin' round with just a teeny weenie
Ain't been up, just been down
Ain't no bigger than a b-bluebottle
These six words in my head:
"Is that big as it gets?"
Gets, gets
"Is that big as it gets?" [3x]