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Song Parodies -> "Billz"

Original Song Title:


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Parody Song Title:


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The Lyrics

I'm aware that S.T.G. did a similar parody, but I've been dying to do a parody of this song for a while and this seemed like the best idea I could think of. It's about a man who has everything taken away from him because he can't afford to pay his bills.
Rob a liquor store just to pay off my bills,

Uh, uh,
Got a full file cabinet of bills new and old,
I'm going to have to write a check for this one,
You know that I be so – so dead,

I've got 30 from electric, 30 from credit cards,
28 for the gas, and 50 from K-Mart,
I run my electricity to power my lights and Xbox,
And now they're calling my house, they're wanting a lot,
I'll get around to paying them before I get old,
But they're calling their lawyers, or so I am told,
I let my house mortgage run high (oh!),
All that I buy (oh!),
All that I try (oh!),
On my Visa,
Now my water's turned off,
My interests are up to the top,
The companies hate it,
But my pocketbook loves it,
"Cuz when I (open up the house, it be freezin'),
(Pay the bills, you have no reason),
I collect bills like Pokémon, you know what that means,
It means I'll be living off of crackers and jelly beans,
I wouldn't leave them forever, only a crazy man would,
But I can't pay them all now, I would if I could,
They say,

(Turn off the lights),
Where's my power at?
(You've gotta pay your bills),
Want me to pay my what?
(Your, your bills,
Your power bills),
Every single month I get stuck with more'a these bills,
They say,
(Turn water off),
Where's my liquid at?
(You've gotta pay your bills),
Want me to pay my what?
(Your, your bills,
Your water bills),
I am scammin', not doin' what I'm told,

Can't shower, baby, my time's expired,
I've had no money ever since I was fired,
Now I'm stealin' cable from my neighbor's house, like that,
And I'm stealin' "lectricity from the orphanage of St. Pat,
I couldn't pay my bills if I found a deposit of oil,
I'm so far in debt, I think my blood is starting to boil,
I'd put my money where my mouth is and pay my bills,
But I can't afford them like retired couples trying to pay for pills,
My motivation is that I can't miss next week's 24,
But I've got three dollars to my name; I need twelve thousand more,
I've got a sports bar, a nice car, they'll go away,
When I get the next call from my local bank,
Maybe I could go on Oprah, get a little extra money,
But I can't afford the postage to mail my request to Ms. Winfrey,
I'm looking for a kitchen that can serve me my evenin' meals,
People call me Gary Coleman because I can't afford to pay my bills,

(Turn off the stove),
Where's my heating at?
(You've gotta pay your bills),
Want me to pay my what?
(Your, your bills,
Your, your gas bills),
My house is gettin' cold because I can't pay my bills,
They say,
(Get out your house),
Where 'm I living at?
(You've gotta pay your bills),
Want me to pay my what?
(Your, your bills,
Your mortgage bills),
They're taking my home and my car's being sold,

Come on,
I start to feel cold with every single breeze,
I'm shivering all night as I am living on the streets,
You can catch me in court next week,
The companies are letting me speak,
I used to fly to Hawaii just to get a little tanner,
Now I can't afford a package of the Arm and Hammer,
I've moved all the way from the top to the bottom,
Now I'm looking worse in court than the bearded Saddam,
At first I missed a couple payments and then it became very hard,
Now I can't even afford a stinkin' library card,
I can't focus, I just need some money,
I can't get a job because I smell too funny,
I'm up to my neck, it's one hell of a thing,
I wouldn't answer my phone even it did still ring,
Lawyers have my picture up on their walls,
They all want to sue me and make the calls,

(Bring me his car),
Where's my "mobile at?
(You've gotta pay your bills),
Want me to pay my what?
(Your, your bills,
Car payment bills),
End bad credit scores and just pay off all my bills,
They say,
(Throw him in jail),
Where is my lawyer at?
(You've gotta pay your bills),
Want me to pay my what?
(Your, your bills,
Taxes and bills),
I get the top bunk here until I'm sixty years old,

Why didn't you just pay?
Did you think you could get away?
Every time I see you,
The first thing that I want to say, hey,

(Bring me his TV),
Where're my possessions at?
(You've gotta pay your bills),
Want me to pay my what?
(Your, your bills,
Your outstanding bills),
Sitting in a cell because I don't pay my bills,
They say,
(Bring me his cap),
Where is my favorite hat?
(You should have paid your bills),
Want me to pay my what?
(Your, your bills,
Your, your, your bills),
I skipped some payments and now I am broke.
The check's in the mail. No, really!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

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