See the Batman fly hanging on a string
Singing and swinging past the moon
Could he be the one I saw on CBS
Or is he a primitive cartoon

This background is green
The Joker must be near
His makeup doesn't come off in the rain
The prison warden
And Commissioner Gordon
Are thinking of moving to Spain

Dick! Bruce!
The clock by the wall
It transforms into a slide
Biff! Bang!
The brakes don't work
Batman gives a scowl
At the lump under his cowl

Amber waves of grain, all owned by Bruce Wayne
I'm getting hourglass sand poured on my head again
The noise of my ker-powing keeps ringing in my head
I'll always remember something Alfred said

Quick, put out those candles
Whatever you do!
Then Alfred stopped yelling
And his prairie wind blew
The purple cloud rolling
For miles and miles
Toxic gas rolling on for miles

Schtick, schlock
A choreographed brawl
Boy Blunder is fighting crime
Bash! Pow!
The Penguin and his nuns
Still fighting with their fists
Has no one invented guns?

Back when Dick was young, a sonic signal rung
And fruit bats were falling from the sky
Mr Freeze froze a few
To last the winter through
Findus cooked them good, Aunt Harriet served them up

Somewhere Catwoman sits in a leather chair
Watching henchman training for fights
The pantomime costumes mean nothing to her
She's wondering how to get in Batman's tights

Schtick, schlock
It's aimed at his balls
Looks like it's commercials time
Yow! Ouch!
Robin stops the saw
Batman's bacon's saved
And then Nelson Riddle plays...