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Song Parodies -> "Rewritten"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Natasha Bedingfield

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I'm at Here is the story of a psychic. . .
It is unspoken
I'll read your mind
and say what I find

Guess what I'm seeing
Just pay me a grand
and show your right hand

Warning don't get into a canoe
Your friend 'May' will be a widow
Your son will serve in Juvee if you keep him so darn confined
Don't be afraid to get assistance
The clerk thinks you are a cutie
He's gonna win the lotto

Drop that trip to Berlin
Someone there is gonna rob you
And he'll kick you in the shins
Head my help, Head my help
I am not reading a script
Don't just take this as a token
I know your whole life is broken
I can say where your story ends
So you may start rewriting


Oh, oh

A new position
Will come next July
Your boss thinks you're fly eh yeah
and in addition he'll offer you steak
but don't turn him away


Your rent is now fifteen days past due
Watch out for that armadillo
Not today I meant tomorrow when you're out for a drive
Taking the path of least resistance
Stop that or you will regret it
and work on your nutrition

Take my words for a spin
I can read your whole life for you
He is cheating, I know when
Need My Help, Need My Help
I see a rise in your brows
Open up to what I'm telling
Must admit that it's compelling
Your new friend you will soon offend
But it can be rewritten

Looking in my crystal ball for you
You are twice as big as right now
So now you can watch your weight and keep your figure in mind
Praying for something in your finance
You do not believe in romance
I see both in my vision!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can search from within
Check your daughter's Winnie the Pooh
Pull the zipper down on it
Oh My Gosh, Oh My Gosh
I cannot say what's in it
Now you know I'm not misspoken
Listen up with your mind open
Now you can change your whole weekend
Your life shall be rewritten
Your life shall be rewritten

Your life shall be rewritten
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tim Mayfield - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
I've surely missed some fantastic meaning in this phrase: "Head my help, Head my help" Can you explain this part to me... I don't get it. :-)

And "Looking in my crystal ball for you You are twice as big as right now", isn't that what Crystal Balls do, make things bigger, like a magnifying glass? They probably are used by old psychics to read their mail.
Peter Andersson - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
An excellent idea, and the first time I've seen a parody about fortune telling here on Amiright I think, I myself would probably have wasted it on a pure list parody but you made it come with a little story too, I loved most of it but felt a bit stalled at the passage from "Open up to what I'm telling" to "I see both in my vision", but then again you made up for that when Winnie the Pooh was introduced, he-he.

On another note I hope Philbo comes by, "been written" seems to be a gift title sub for TOS should he take it on too.
Matthias - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Funny you mentioned "Your Horoscope For Today" over the phone yesterday, because this parody was very much like that, even being just as good. I wish I could have come up with something this brilliant for this song, not that I don't like "Damn Kitten" but this song makes "Damn Kitten" look "Damn Pathetic" great job here David!
Below Average Dave - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Thank you Tim, Head is (at least where I live) another phrase for "Take" or "Listen", and at least in the psychic world, many fortune tellers use crystal balls to gaze into in order to 'read your future'.

Thank you Peter and Matty as well. . .and there was a guy who yesterday got upset because someone one'd his pacing, well, here is my proof that it happens to all of us. Only someone who pays no attention to the recording section or is listening to the wrong song could two my stuff on pacing. I won't pretend to be perfect, but as my primary work is recording, it'd be hard pressed to make an even audible recording with 40% pacing. . .that's why I hold no weight to those who won't leave credible comments backing up their vote. . .
Below Average Dave - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Correction to my comment above: "Heed" not "Head"
Dr Music - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Oooh...this song is extraordinarly enchanting. It reminds me of ol Carnac from the Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson. Also that Beyondo skit from Jay Leno's show back in the 90's. I wonder when the best of Jay Leno is released on DVD. I looked on Amazon and it didn't mention the release date yet.
No More Jay Leno!! - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Dr Music, that's because the best of Jay Leno won't fit on a DVD. It fits on the back of a stamp in large lettering.
Dr Music - August 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh don't be so hard on Jay...he's not so bad once you get to know him. He's a very nice guy you know...well except for that time he bit me which is why i'm a Wereleno now. But give him a chance and you'll find he's a very cool person. We've met him countless times. For a better insight on him read his autobiography Leading With My Chin it is a very entertaining book. You shouldn't judge a person by appearance alone, it's not on the outside it's on the inside that matters most. Once you've seen how good Jay really is you'll learn that he's really a great guy and he can be hillarious to watch. Even the most heartless person can find Jay funny.
Jason - August 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice job. Well done. 555
Ghost of John Candy - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree with Jason. Lovely song. 555's from me too. As for you NMJL- How would you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out of work bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep?
anonymous - March 02, 2011 - Report this comment
spongebob - March 02, 2011 - Report this comment
i like the original. you should make a more polite parody. dont diss the original version! :( i dont like this one. kthnxbye.
Below Average Dave - May 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Outdated reply to the last two comments (which I think are by the same person) but how does this "Diss the original version" you CLEARLY didn't read the parody you speak of, because it does not 'diss' the original . . .
Abbott Skelding - July 18, 2011 - Report this comment
With the title of "Rewritten" I wasn't expecting a song about a psychic. But nice work and nice subject to write about!
Max Power - July 22, 2011 - Report this comment
What I learn is that psychics can be psychos. Everything gets rewritten, but not the 5ives!
Blaydeman - July 23, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Like the twist on the title, keep us on our toes ;). Good, interesting, unique idea. I liked it a lot, very funny.
Mark Scotti - July 25, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) idon't know what he was seeing, but I was sure seeing fivers!
bobpiecheese - July 26, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Not expecting a psychic's tale from the title, but the use of it is quite clever. Wish there was more on how the psychic is full of crap, but that's just me. 555!
Agrimorfee - July 26, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) A lot of clever lines throughout here, with surreality at the appearance of Winnie the Pooh. Well thought, not predictable, even from a psychic!
D-Mon - July 26, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) "Oh man, I did not see that coming!" LOL! Nice job!
Matthias - July 31, 2011 - Report this comment
This was extremely clever. See above.

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