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Song Parodies -> "Patient Horde"

Original Song Title:

"Spacious Thoughts"

Original Performer:

N.A.S.A. ft. Tom Waits & Kool Keith

Parody Song Title:

"Patient Horde"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Every now and then, even a nameless henchman for a supervillain can realise a common flaw in their planning. In this case, that flaw is "Why do we keep fighting the hero one a time in some bizarre form of mook chivalry?"
Yeah (da, da-da-da, da, da-da-da)
That last battle was pathetic (da, da-da-da, da-da-da-da)
Let's do it right (da-da-da, da-da, da-da-da)
Da, d-d-da, da-da (cause)
We should win fights with ease (da-da-da-da, da)
With our numbers, you see

You remember all our trainin'? It hurt, like, all day
Not much advice was told, if I may be a bit bold
No tips for aimin', shots spread out when we're blastin', damn it
Never taught to leave when the odds were shit, but the truth that I approach:
A lesson we need that I think we've right forgotten
That gets us all creamed from ev'ry hero
Though there's at least seven hund'red of us at the battle spot
Always go medieval on our buttocks time after time
We've forgotten we're evil
And there's, in fact, nothin' here to stop us, we shouldn't have manners
We're nameless henchmen, if it's bad, we can handle it
The hero's surrounded, so we should all know to pound 'im until he's bleedin'
But that would be way too evil, which means we stop, take it in turns to stomp
We're so brainless

In a circle, we're all round
Smash the hero to the ground (patient horde)
But instead we wait in line
Give the intruder some time
So he can clean all our clocks (patient horde)
Punched half of us in the cock
We outnumber him, oh well
Not like it's our job, oh well (patient horde)

May seem rude, but we're the bad guys
"Wranglin' the flunkys" shouldn't be hand-waved off
Good guys are experts at fightin' evil
Evil should research all those who do good
How they're winnin' ev'ry single battle, lo:
It's cause we don't use our brains
I'd bet a huge, unrelentin' mook-based onslaught
Would stop our foes, should be a given
Quantity trumps the quality of evil, let that be our last loss

We could take over this town
If we didn't circle round (patient horde)
This overpowered good guy
And gave him a decent try
Like to see him laugh us off
When we're all piled right on top (patient horde)
Too smart for a mook? Oh well
Not like it's our job, oh well

It's a practice I can't believe still stands (know-know-knowin')
They'd kick nobody's asses if we'd stop slowin'
Zerg rush is what I'm seein' and hopin'
Let the boss know, walkin' up to his door with my long list
Reasons why one-mook-at-a-time was the main fault in jail, he'd sit
Stuck in the can 'til plans were made for escapin'
This could be a new era for those quite bad
There's no way that he'll up and reject
Huge asshole, but he's not thick
I'll prove that I'm not useless
One mook who's not stupid unlike all the rest
Too candid? You can't say you're no moron
You're all too fine with the boss
Gives you suicide missions quite a lot

This can't be, he turned me down
How could this have happened now (patient horde)?
Says that it's all justified
To send all his troops to die
It is up to him to stop
The hero, not all us clods (patient horde)
Didn't kill me, though, oh well
I'll leave it for now, oh well

A dumbass (come o-, come o-, come o-, come on)
Come o-, come on, come o-, come o-, come on
Come o-, come on, come o-, come o-, come on
Come o-, come on (big dumbass)
Come o-, come on, come o-, come on
Come o-, come on, come o-, come on
Come o-, come on
Come o-, come on, come o-, come on
That ass

Ninja Leader: Now, before the fight, how did we all agree we should attack the guy?

Group: All together!

Ninja Leader: And how did we attack?

Group: One at a time..

Ninja Leader: That's right.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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 5   6

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