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Song Parodies -> "Undead"
Original Song Title:
"Unwell"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Matchbox Twenty
Parody Song Title:
"Undead"
Parody Written by:
Spaff.com
The Lyrics
All - day
Hiding in my coffin, playing
Goth and death-rock MP3's
All night
Bats and werewolves nagging me
To take them out for drinks
Because it helps them feel alive
Or something
I - meet
Long-neck girls at clubs but they say
Bite - me
That sounds good to me
'Cause I'm not creepy, I'm just a little undead
I know - my lips are stained red
My fangs are too, but just ignore that please
It's only gum disease
I'm not ghostly, I'm just reflection-impaired
I know - right now you look scared
But drink some Red Bull and Type AB
And prowl the night with me
We
Should break in to the blood bank 'cause I
Drank my plasma-screen TV
And I know
I know that blood's my problem but it's
Not that I'm addicted
It's because it feels so good when that stuff hits
Your lips
And self-control is hard I'm only
Nineteen
Centuries old
But I'm not pasty, I'm just a little undead
I know - worms live in my head
And at the beach I have to rub on me
SPF Infinity
I'm not spooky, I'm just existence-impaired
I know - you'd like your neck spared
I'm sorry babe, because your date with me
Will last eternally
I've been craving salty snacks
So listen all you chicks with saline:
Come to my all-night buffet!
I'm not creepy, I'm just a little undead
Don't put - garlic on my bread
I like my steaks bloody as can be
But don't drive one through me
I'm not eerie, I'm just living-impaired
I know - I'm your worst nightmare
But all the cool Transylvanians see
That no one sucks like me
Yeah, no one sucks like me
No one sucks like me
I'm just a little undead
No one sucks like me
(Your name's not Buffy, is it?)
I'm just a little undead
Hiding in my coffin, playing
Goth and death-rock MP3's
All night
Bats and werewolves nagging me
To take them out for drinks
Because it helps them feel alive
Or something
I - meet
Long-neck girls at clubs but they say
Bite - me
That sounds good to me
'Cause I'm not creepy, I'm just a little undead
I know - my lips are stained red
My fangs are too, but just ignore that please
It's only gum disease
I'm not ghostly, I'm just reflection-impaired
I know - right now you look scared
But drink some Red Bull and Type AB
And prowl the night with me
We
Should break in to the blood bank 'cause I
Drank my plasma-screen TV
And I know
I know that blood's my problem but it's
Not that I'm addicted
It's because it feels so good when that stuff hits
Your lips
And self-control is hard I'm only
Nineteen
Centuries old
But I'm not pasty, I'm just a little undead
I know - worms live in my head
And at the beach I have to rub on me
SPF Infinity
I'm not spooky, I'm just existence-impaired
I know - you'd like your neck spared
I'm sorry babe, because your date with me
Will last eternally
I've been craving salty snacks
So listen all you chicks with saline:
Come to my all-night buffet!
I'm not creepy, I'm just a little undead
Don't put - garlic on my bread
I like my steaks bloody as can be
But don't drive one through me
I'm not eerie, I'm just living-impaired
I know - I'm your worst nightmare
But all the cool Transylvanians see
That no one sucks like me
Yeah, no one sucks like me
No one sucks like me
I'm just a little undead
No one sucks like me
(Your name's not Buffy, is it?)
I'm just a little undead
(c) 2006+ Count Spaffula
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 12 | 12 | 12 |
User Comments
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This one hit me right in the heart with a stake, I'm dieing... of laughter!
LOL I read this on your site, it rules, I even sang it to myself once,555!
Don't Know The Original Song? It's temporarily available at spaff.com/dktos
And thank you, St Matthias & Local Celeb!
And thank you, St Matthias & Local Celeb!
5's
That was freaking awesome! One of the best parodies I've ever seen! 555!
beautiful job on this...boy, do i love halloween
Awesome
This had me cackling like a rabid bat! I like the line, "I'm only 19 centuries old."
right on the money...5's
LOL! I've been reading this on your website for a while now, waiting to give the 5-5-5 deserve... and the time has come... 5-5-5
Nosferatu-rrific! 555
Now that I'm finally back on the Net, it's good to see a new Spaff parody. Well done, Spaff. The only thing that would've been better is a new Spaff recording...specificaly of this one.
I second Bobpieconquerorofparodies's comment, the recorind part at least! BTW Spaff, did you know that in late 2004 I made a CD with everything thsat wasnt on Elves Gone Wild! on it? Yep sure did, Ive updated it sicne then too, so Im happy to say that I have your tsuff on my Ipod, or ISpaff I should call it, now there's a good one iSpaff
If you only read one Spaff parody this year... there's something seriously wrong with you. But this one, like the soldier applicant in Men in Black, is the "best of the best of the best, sir!"
Awfully good. Vampires never bother Koreans.
Thanx, Lionel & Inferno & Alvin & Claude (Claude?! Is that really you?!) & Yoidy & AFW & Charnstar & Kristof (heh heh)!
Bobpie & Jack: Maybe next year for this one. And there will be a *real* Robert Lund CD coming out in the next few months, so you'll have the opportunity to pay good money for stuff you're currently receiving for free.
Rex: I'm glad you like this better than Spaff's stuff. He's a jerk.
2Eagle: Because of the garlic? Or because of the nukes?
Bobpie & Jack: Maybe next year for this one. And there will be a *real* Robert Lund CD coming out in the next few months, so you'll have the opportunity to pay good money for stuff you're currently receiving for free.
Rex: I'm glad you like this better than Spaff's stuff. He's a jerk.
2Eagle: Because of the garlic? Or because of the nukes?
Awesome Spaff!
I hope you know my meaning was "there's something wrong if you only read one Spaff parody -- because you should read them all". And how dare you call Spaff a jerk -- as far as I know he's never prepared a soda.
Wrecks: Thanks. I knew what you meant; I was just giving me a hard time. As for the soda comment - see Johnny D's "He Jerks Hard for the Money." If you dare.
The plasma TV got me. I was waiting for the word "haemophobic" :)
Stevenagh: Thanx. I was going to praise you for creating the word haemophobia (hemophobia for us Yanks) until I looked it up and found out it's a real condition. Yes, fear of blood. Go figure.
This now has an awesome recording
Howling with laughter. This makes Halloween the funniest holiday! Long live the undead! I'd stake a lot that this one really counts. Oh, but about the recording.. the banjo sounds like Kermit the frog's rainbow connection banjo, rather than the Matchbox 20's more metallic-synthesized sounding banjo-esque one.
Thanks, Tim and Jackie. Good to hear from you!
Yes, a mere three years later, this parody has been performed and recorded by Moneyshot Cosmonauts. Vocals were done by Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad, and all the music and production were done by Bob Emmet of Project Sisyphus (with the exception of the banjo, which was done by Kermit the Frog). Here's a URL for ya:
http://www.spaff.com/poesy/undead.html
Yes, a mere three years later, this parody has been performed and recorded by Moneyshot Cosmonauts. Vocals were done by Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad, and all the music and production were done by Bob Emmet of Project Sisyphus (with the exception of the banjo, which was done by Kermit the Frog). Here's a URL for ya:
http://www.spaff.com/poesy/undead.html
wow! wheres shirley mcclain when you need her
Right beside me, of course. She says hi.
i love Van Helsing, the good doctor who speaks such irritating pidgin English.
And I would love to play good doctor with Rebecca Pidgeon.
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