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Song Parodies -> "Let Me Cut You"

Original Song Title:

"Let Me Love You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Mario

Parody Song Title:

"Let Me Cut You"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

1300TH PARODY, Y'ALL! And as is my tradition, I have taken a song I parodied back when I was stupid and inexperienced and re-parody along a vaguely similar topic. Last time a torturer sung about his job, I think. This time, I gave it a bit of a kinky twist...maybe. Look, this guy's got issues, okay?
Mmm, uh, mmm, yeah, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, yeah, yeah-eah-eah, yeah
Mmm, uh, mmm-mmm-mmm, yeah, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, yeah-ee-eah

Baby, I just don't ge-et it, thought you enjoyed bein' hu-urt
You said so on your profile, this print-out proves it, je-erk
I don't belie-ieve your sto-ory, sure you were ha-acked, pu-ure lies
I-I've got your arse inside my hou-ouse, so now it's ou-ouchy-y time
Gonna take your ha-and, brea-eak in two
Twist the wrist arou-ound, cau-ause it's true
This is all I kno-ow: hu-urtin' you
Ev-e-ry ni-ight insertin' spi-ikes
I'd feel kind of stu-upid if I-I had missed
A real retra-action of you-our painful kink
I love causin' ha-arm, a-are you sure you don't love it, Ma-ark?

You-ou shou-ould let me cut you-ou
Le-et me-e be the one to-o
Ca-arve a-a heart into-o bo-oth o-of you-our knees
My baby, pain's a-a sweet sensatio-ion
I-I'm goo-ood at crea-a-ati-in'
Ca-an't I-I simply po-oke a-a nerve o-or three?
Baby, you shou-ould let me cu-u-ut you, cu-u-ut you, cu-u-ut you
Cu-u-u-u-u-ut you, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah, listen

First I'll make an inci-ision near your ears where it hu-urts
Make a slice so that it signs my full na-ame, I've got three mi-iddle names, jerk, huh
Then I'll pull your toes right out of their sockets the-en let 'em go
Let 'em flo-op, cause you know tha-at's how I roll, baby, do-on't go-o-ho-o-ho-o
Want to be your ma-an, 'frai-aid i-it's true-ue, huh
That means carvin' ou-out you-our man-boobs
Isn't a dark jo-oke, i-it's the truth
Ev-e-ry ni-ight, I wanna sli-ice (ev-e-ry ni-ight, I wanna sli-ice)
Gonna clamp your ni-ipples with the-ese clip things
See this car ba-att'ry? A hu-uge shock, it brings
Let you feel the spa-arks, tri-icky usin' one hand here, Ma-ark

You shou-ould let me-e cu-u-u-ut you-ou-ou-ou
Le-et me-e be the one to-o
Re-emo-ove ev'ry ta-attoo-oo tha-at I-I see
Cause, baby, my na-ame i-isn't on the-em, whoa-ooh-ooh
A-And tha-at's utter no-o-onse-ense
Nee-eed to-o prove that you-ou be-elong to-o me
Baby, you should le-et me

To-old me you li-ike to hurt (oh-oh, really hate bein' lie-ie-ied to)
And bo-oy, can I bri-ing the hurt (uh, ba-aby-y, ooh-ooh)
What's wrong with you-ou? You want be-e-etter hurt? Hey (ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Cause I can step my game u-up (ooh-ooh-ooh)

You-ou shou-ould let me cut you-ou
Le-et me-e be the one to-o (let me be the o-one to-o sti-i-ick)
Sti-ick a-a ton of nee-eedl-les i-in you-our teeth (woo, i-in betwee-een your tee-ee-eeth, yeah-eah-eah)
I do-on't get the tensio-ion (it's confusing)
I-In you-ou I've been se-e-ensi-in' (wanna rip you, bu-uddy)
I-I thou-ought you'd enjoy re-emoved ki-idneys (oh-oh-oh)
Baby, you-ou shou-ould let me cu-u-ut you-ou-ou
Le-et me-e be the one to-o
Ju-uggl-le round your fre-eshly-y re-emo-oved spleen (it's no-ot a joke I'm making, uh)
Say it's not BDSM?
Ge-et u-used to my me-e-etho-ods
A-And ho-ow much pain I i-inflict o-on thee (hey, eh-eh-eh)
You-ou shou-ould let me cut you-ou (cu-u-ut you-ou-ou)
Le-et me-e be the one to-o (the o-one to-o-o)
Re-end you-our flesh with sa-aws the-e wa-ay I-I please (just the way I plea-ea-ease, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, baby-y-y-y)
Not goo-ood with rejectio-ion (reje-ection)
Ti-ime fo-or more affe-e-ectio-ion (affe-ection, ba-aby)
Whe-ere'd I-I put my huge fla-amethrowe-er? Geez (oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-ooh, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Just let me cu-ut you, know you want me, baby

The tricky part of some of these milestone re-parodies is attempting to describe the original parody's topic. With how much I borrowed from the original song, repeated myself, refused to vary up the choruses and repeated myself, it's a bit hard to pin it down. Click the link above if you wanna see for yourself. The management will not be held responsible for any eye-meltings at the terrible quality.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

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