Alright, okay (yo), alright, okay (yeah), let's go
Ay, ay, a-ay, ay, ay (yo, yo, yo), man, last night went long (yo)

My, my, last night was a banger, I wish we had a cam'ra
Booze was consumed by the drum 'til it hurt the bladder
Now it's the mornin' after and ev'ry fork that clatters
Been amplified inside (amplified) my brain like a mass of hammers
It doesn't really matter because I don't get plastered
If the boss'll shout while his saliva splatters
That I've been sacked, no damage to my job from beer baggage
I'm not that kinda dipshit, I am a chugger planner
Nothin' to do on Saturday except vaguely stagger
Slam into the glass door, glasses are upside down and backwards
I have to manage until I'm slammin' back a glass of
What lands like lacquer, undo the mad damage

Must get sober, feelin' like my head will bust (lotta hard throbs, man)
I want that over, I know the taste will friggin' suck (still chug it down) (yo, yo)
You say that it's bogus, it's only in my head, shut up (I'm beggin': please, zip up tight)
I can't know this 'cause it won't work then, get stuffed (leave me)

Ooh, dude, where are my teaspoons? The shelves are higher
When you're out flat, oof, after that all-nighter
I need one of them, two might then misfire
Don't want my measurements confused, no brain revival
Add in bananas, just five, this part is vital
Ladle in taters, squirt A1 in a spiral
Half a tin of beets, they're slimy but required
If your drunk ass wants to be a hangover fighter
Gotta dump in some chunks of broccoli for the iron
Mix 'til it's gooey like heavy cream on a pie plate
You may be right that it's lookin' dire
But that's the plan, get the booze out my mind

Must get sober, don't care if I'm throwin' up
Sick of bein' slower when walkin', all sounds are blowin' up (too loud there)
I want this feelin' over, can say I should stop gettin' drunk (not tryin', tryin')
That ain't gonna happen, no, sir, I'll still chug though this cure will suck (it will taste like hell)

Gentle as it settles? Nope, like metal inside my gut
It's not accidental that I made sure it didn't touch
Any of the many teeth I'd still like to have to chomp
While givin' my liver a workout whenever I want
That's not ev'ry night, I'm not a moron
This cure won't do shite-all if I gulp one
Ev'ry mornin', works because it hurts
If it's a thing that I knock back constantly, there's no shock, wouldn't work
Just the same old, same old glass of nonsense, almost good
Same old glass of nonsense, nonsense, brain would still feel fathoms under
Still swimmin' deep under the first couple gallons of "Sensations"
Don't know what's in that drink now, let alone when three (ah-ow)
Sheets to the wind, just know it's good and liquor-y, you see
Why I don't work the next day, need this potion in me, eurgh