On the web I read "Weird Things That Are True"
Mostly on Buzzfeed, sometimes Cracked.com too (Cracked.com too)
Readin' about my own country
What they say is true appears to be shite
Not sayin' my perspective is what's ri-ight (is what's ri-ight)
But it's just that I'm so confused

There's so many gifs complaining
That ev'ry damn spring that's when the sky starts raining

Wild magpies, freak whenever they're swoopin' at you
Wild magpies, seems that it is accepted as true
Find it questionable
Mainly because I've never once gone through it, no, really
Wild magpies aren't somethin' I've dealt with before, dude
I just can't believe that it's true
Mass magpie attacks? Can't be true
Never happened once to me, true
No birds in my face, it's not true

I know that I don't go outside enough
Maybe for cyclists this happens a lot but
For me, it's hard to believe it's true
It never happened at school, explain that
Maybe I'm just a really lucky prat (a touch, a touch)
I still think it's unprovable

I won't say that it isn't happ'ning
But I'm still not scared of these birds flapping

Wild magpies, seems that ev'ryone else gets hit, dude
Wild magpies, freak when they want to eat your eye-goo
They're real penetrable
But the point is I don't like how the articles all read
"Wild magpies, see what all Aussies deal with" Not true

There's so many entries nicked from Tumblr
Keeps on goin'
"Things That Only People From Down Under
Would Be Knowin'"
And between Tim Tams and Milo
Gifs of magpies di-ivin'

Wild magpies, seems that it is an accepted truth
Wild magpies, flee whenever they're divebombin' you
Wild magpies, scream whenever they're attackin' you
Wild magpies, freeze when you see them flyin', it's true
Makes me irritable
Seeing lists assume it's a common occurrence for me
Wild magpies, need to stop givin' a shit, that's true
Not worth gettin' mad over, true
It's not like it's makin' me fume
And throwin' my laptop, not true
It's just that it's buggin' me, dude