This film director's strange, does things in a weird way
Scripts in a jumbled pile, keeps callin' "Kevin" "Kyle"
But where I'm most confused is how he straight refused
To do that line once more, I flubbed it hard, it's true (ooh-oh-ooh-oh)
I messed up badly, yet he said "No" to doin' a restart (ooh-oh-ooh-oh)
Thought it seemed bogus, the other actors simply rolled their eyes

"He just does the first take, he won't do one more take, that's how he works
Won't get it in his mind that this is why Cannes dismisses the jerk
ADR's the whole thing, we spend the shoot hopin' he does that right (he does that right)
And not find some cousin to reread the whole thing, ev'ry damn line"

I'd freak out more, but I've got more scenes in due time
My character's a bore, does not reflect my core
The budget seems okay, got lots of time today
We don't seem in the hole, so why is this so balls (ooh-oh-ooh-oh)?
Can't understand it, thought it was known the first few takes blow hard (ooh-oh-ooh-oh)
Not gonna show this anger that grows before the cam'ra light

Only keeps the first take, never does one more take, how can that work (ooh-ah)?
That just doesn't seem right, film's gonna look crap, you can take my word (ooh-ah)
Will have ev'ry stumble, ev'ry extra smirkin', ev'ry flubbed line (ooh-ah)
I should've caught onto somethin' bein' wrong when my agent cried

Why only the first take? No reason, that contains (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
This film won't get a high Tomato rate, man (ah-ah-ah)
Why only the first take? Sounds so bad to my brain (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
On IMDb, high star count would be faked (ah-ah-ah)
Why only the first take? I fear the premiere date (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
When reviews get online, all of the hashtags (ah-ah-ah)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

To keep just the first take only reaches sense-make if this mad jerk (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (ooh-ah)
Wants to force an online "so bad, it's good" brand, that's not gonna work (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (ooh-ah)
Aimin' for that only means that the film won't be of that mad kind (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (ooh-ah)
"The Room" or "Birdemic"? Afraid you'll be gettin' Sharknado, right (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (ooh-ah)

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (ah-ah-ah)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (ah-ah-ah)
Why only the first take? That seems rather insane (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Wish I'd known before, I'd never sign up, man (ah-ah-ah)
Why only the first take? Can't quit, I won't get paid (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Must make it through, then I'll get completely tanked