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Song Parodies -> "Knead It Out"

Original Song Title:

"Bleed It Out"

Original Performer:

Linkin Park

Parody Song Title:

"Knead It Out"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Word of advice: don't be a dick to your masseur. He will take it out on you.
Yeah, here I go for the hundredth time
Do I hate this? No, that's not right
But because there's no end in sight
Hopin' for some disaster like
Rocks abound right on you
Tied-up shoelaces have good use
So fed up with the likes of you
Show your hide ev'ry day, it's true
Truth is that it's not quite fair
To toss you out, you pay your fare
Just wears me out, no break there
With your constant requests for me, who cares?
Yeah, but you throw a fit
If you don't get your massage fix
Gettin' all the tension out
From someone else, let's begin

I knead it out, pressin' deeper, givin' you lots of pain
I knead it out, pressin' deeper, it removes other pain
I knead it out, pressin' deeper even though you're a pain
Even though you're a pain, even though you're a pain
I knead it out

So watch me go
Wait, you can't while you're face down, so
Talk some bollocks, gonna throw
Lots of slaps and some mighty blows
Therapeutic, you're a jerk
Cause you're hoggin' my soothin' work
Then complain when my poor old clerk
Cause she dares to not call you first
Did that hurt? I won't lie
If it didn't, you'd moan and whine
You think hurt is how this thing
Is meant to work, which makes me satisfied
So I fly with the fists
May break some of my ethics
But you aim for more discounts
Cause you're really cheap as shit

I knead it out, pressin' deeper, givin' you all the pain
I knead it out, pressin' deeper, it removes inner pain
I knead it out, pressin' deeper, know that you'll stay a pain
Know that you'll stay a pain, know that you'll stay a pain
I knead it out

Want me to hit you hard
Sure you can take this?
Your spine might be in parts
But fine, sure, take this now

I knead it out, pressin' deeper while you're givin' me pain
I knead it out, pressin' deeper, lots of baseless complaints
I knead it out, pressin' deeper, I'll return diff'rent pain
I'll return diff'rent pain, I'll return diff'rent pain
I knead it out, pressin' deeper, wanna turf you away
I knead it out, pressin' deeper, I still wanna get paid
I knead it out, pressin' deeper, do that by givin' pain
Do that by givin' pain, do that by givin' pain
I knead it out
I knead it out
I knead it out

Things I never thought I'd learn until today: a masseur is a male massager-type person, while a female massager-type person is a masseuse. I'm sure I'll remember this information for all of two minutes!

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