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Song Parodies -> "Great Cosplay"

Original Song Title:

"Breakaway"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Kelly Clarkson

Parody Song Title:

"Great Cosplay"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Dude's at a convention and is amazed at the craftsmanship on display...
Da-da-da-n-da-da
Da-da-da-n-da-da
Da-da-da-n-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-n-da-da
Da-da-da-n-da-da
Da-da-da-n-da-da-da-da

As I'm lookin' around
This huge convention hall now
There's a lot of Mari-ios
Some with a Princess Peach
And none of them look crappy
No, they're great
Ev'rybody's turned out
In awesome costumes, look out
That Witchblade armour's poi-oi-ointy
I'm the odd one out here
Just in my normal clothes here
I can't make (I ca-an't ma-ake)
Any great cospla-a-a-a-ay

These people's ski-ills with foamcore is a si-ight
Suits from 40K, dudes fro-om Fi-irefly, it looks
(Expensive) expensive
(Makes me sad) makes me sad
(I can't make) I can't ma-ake
Such grea-eat co-osplay
How does that Fre-eddy Kreuger mask move, bu-ud?
You're kiddin' me he-ere, can't be rea-eally makeup, so
(Talented) talented
(Makes me sad) makes me sad
(I can't make) I can't ma-ake
Such grea-eat co-ospla-ay

Da-da-da-n-da-da
Da-da-da-n-da-da
Da-da-da-n-da-da-da-da

I don't have the raw green
Or the patience in me
To match this lot's devo-o-otion
That Master Chief is great
As is that Deadpool, mate
Want to-o make (want to-o ma-ake)
Such great cospla-a-a-a-ay

How do those wi-ings of yours, Tink, stay upri-ight?
Some call these dudes stra-ange but I-I cannot lie, it's all
(Awesome shit) awesome shit
(Makes me sad) makes me sad
(I can't make) I can't ma-ake
Such grea-eat cospla-a-ay
Swear I did no-ot mean to stare at your bu-utt
Tryna work ou-out how that tai-ail's attached, bud, you know you're
(Talented) talented
(Makes me sad) makes me sad
(I can't make) I can't make
Such great co-ospla-ay

How'd that Groot get through the doors?
Droppin' twigs all on the floor
Spendin' all day on stilts, odd to-o-o me, but
I'm neve-er one to mock, I'll give props
To who-o ma-akes great cospla-a-ay

Pickin' up ti-ips that I'll never apply-y
Cause I don't think I'll eve-er have the time to do this
(Crazy shit) crazy shit
(Makes me sad) makes me sad
(I can't make) I can't make
Such great cospla-a-ay
Intimida-ated by all that's been do-one
But "My First Cospla-ay" pics keep my hopes up that one day
(I'll be one) I'll be one
(Of those cats) of those cats
(Who can make) who can ma-ake
Such great cospla-a-a-a-ay
Great cospla-a-ay
Grea-eat co-osplay

The closest I've ever come to cosplaying was dressing up as the Sniper from Team Fortress 2 for a birthday party a few years back. The vest was all wrong, I didn't allow enough time to grow proper stubble, I don't think I had gloves and the gun was crudely assembled out a crossbow, part of a NERF gun and a cardboard tube, but I think it worked. No, I don't have pictures.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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Peter Andersson - June 23, 2016 - Report this comment
I too have done just one cosplay. It was a themed party, the dark middle ages, and I ad-libbed being an executioner/hang man by turning some old black clothes inside-out (including a ski mask), added an old thick rope around my midsection, an old axe hanging by my side, and handed out quickly printed business cards (on standard paper) that said something along the lines of "Rigor Mortis Inc - beheadings, witch burnings and torture at humane prices".

This was some twentyfive years ago, for which I'm grateful, had it been today I'd probably been mistaken for a real ISIS recruiter or something.

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