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Song Parodies -> "L.A.N.C.E."

Original Song Title:

"D.A.N.C.E."

Original Performer:

Justice

Parody Song Title:

"L.A.N.C.E."

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Jousting. Two metal-clad morons charge at each other with big pointy cone-sticks 'til one gets knocked on their ass. Classic stuff. Surely this is a sport that needs its own Mickey Goldmill!
Use the L-A-N-C-E, charge and make a strike
Until he's B-E-A-T, that's how you win the fight
Your armour must remain clean, can't make his own strikes
Just easy as A-B-C, it's how sports work, that's right

Use the L-A-N-C-E and skewer that knight
Don't make him D-E-A-D, not how you win the fight
Might be armoured to a tee, the risk might be slight
Still easy as A-B-C to murder him outright

Use the L-A-N-C-E, how you J-O-U-S-T
Just easy as A-B-C, use the lance, use the lance

Know you can kick his ass easily
Use the lance
Knock him right off of his puny steed
Use the lance (use the lance)
He's got his own, so defense is key
Use the lance (use the lance)
Balance with offence for victory

Use the L-A-N-C-E, make a simple strike
Aim your H-O-R-S-E until his is in sight
Make sure you can S-E-E out your helmet fine
Just easy as A-B-C for it to slip and blind

Use the lance, use the lance
Be sure to sort your trajectory
Use the lance, use the lance
Never lose any amount of speed
Use the lance (use the lance)
Sure, there's a risk of real injury
Use the lance (use the lance)
Got a huge bet riding on you, see

Use the L-A-N-C-E, use the lance, use the lance
Kick his damn A-R-S-E, use the lance, use the lance
What? How can you have cold feet? Use the lance, use the lance
It's easy as A-B-C, use the lance, use the lance

What's wrong with you? I thought you were a knight
Yet your spine's scattered, use the lance, use the lance
Sure, the other guy stands 'bout six feet high
That doesn't matter, use the lance, use the lance
Guess you're a bit shy, graduation's nigh
Real fight's not happened, use the lance, use the lance
Still it's best to try, even if you fly
Won't get too damaged, use the lance, use the lance

This is a really bad time to freeze
Use the lance (use the lance)
You need to pull out a win for me
I'm sure you won't just lose instantly

Pretty sure eating lightning and crapping thunder at a jousting tournament would get you accused of sorcery.

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 LittleLots
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Total Votes: 2

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