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Song Parodies -> "(I'll Admit:) All My Players Stink"
Original Song Title:
"Love Don't Cost A Thing"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Jennifer Lopez
Parody Song Title:
"(I'll Admit:) All My Players Stink"
Parody Written by:
Rocky Mak
The Lyrics
OK, being a newbie at fantasy, I have no idea how I'll keep myself competitive due to an unproductive draft, so I was addicted to relying on the waiver wire and switching people week-by-week because I have no worthy trade pawns, I was left for dead. My lineup is mostly fake, but the events and dilemmas I've faced are mostly true.
[Brock]
Think that I'll go 14-0? I don't
Think I'll get a great trade deal? I won't
Now that waiver wire's broke
Well, all my players stink
Think my QB's got great games? I don't
If I need a plan, I got my own
Even if I'm 2-0
I'll admit: My players stink
When your [Tom] Brady's in the ambulance
Thought Jake Delhomme may get a chance to play
Knowing I am green, and I'm scared to bits
For the matchup he is going up against today
A touchdown and yet only 90 yards
Never quite enough to set the tone with you
But it's hard to miss, when I know that your
Wide-outs' ready to break out and lose all control
[Fabiano]
All that matters is your men played alright
Give you all the points you need
So you're still in the fight, yeah
[Brock]
Think that I should keep Bears' [DST] iced, I don't
Think I'll find 2 starting backs? I won't
Even if [your Steven] Jackson choked
I'll admit: My players stink
Think Westbrook'd score 6 TD's? I don't
My tight ends' less points than [your kicker] Robbie Gould
Well my starting men choked
And all my players stink
When I took a chance, started Braylon Ed [Edwards]
Thought that he can add, to points I have
Still, the team had won, yet my man had not
Since the QB never throws to him, now what the cause?
See my scouting team, scoring far more points
Doing way too much, got too much appeal
If it doesn't change, gotta take a note
He [Braylon] is going, where's the page, the heads must roll
[Fabiano]
All that matters is that your men played alright
Give you all the points you need
So you're still in the fight, yeah
[Brock]
Think that I'll go 16-0? I don't
Think I'll get a great trade deal? I won't
Now that waiver wire's broke
Well, all my players stink
Think Westbrook'd score 6 TD's? I don't
My tight ends' less points than [your kicker] Robbie Gould
Well my starting men choked
And all my players stink
They stink!
They stink!
They stink!
God damn, yeah
[Fabiano]
You should have started Reggie Wayne
He could have saved a lot of pain
Then get a goal-line back to start
Instead of changing hearts
Before the weekends start
I think that you can save some time
Admit [that] there'd be games you must lose
Just stick with a team till a bye
Then you can save your heart,
Though it's [getting the lineups right] a work of art
[Brock]
Think that I should keep Bears' [DST] iced? I don't
Think I'll find 2 starting backs? I won't
Even if [Steven] Jackson choked
I'll admit: My players stink
Think Westbrook'd score 6 TD's? I don't
My tight ends' less points than [your kicker] Robbie Gould
Well my starting men choked
And all my players stink
Think that I'll go 14-0? I don't
Think I'll get a great trade deal? I won't
Now that waiver wire's broke
Well, all my players stink
Think my QB's got great games? I don't
If I need a plan, I'll get my own
Even if I'm 2-0
I'll admit: My players stink
Think I should go [and] start Ray Rice? I don't
Think I'll trade for Kurt Warner? I won't
Even if you got smoked
I'll admit: My players stink
Think I want that new Colts [DST] team? I don't
If I need a Ross, I dropped my own.
[Cory (RB, Baltimore), Derrick (RB, Kansas City) or Ritchie (WR, Tenessee)]
Even if you got smoked
I'll admit: My players stink
Think that I'll go 14-0? I don't
Think I'll get a great trade deal? I won't
Now that waiver wire's broke
Well, all my players stink
Think my QB's got great games? I don't
If I need a plan, I got my own
Even if I'm 2-0
I'll admit: My players stink
When your [Tom] Brady's in the ambulance
Thought Jake Delhomme may get a chance to play
Knowing I am green, and I'm scared to bits
For the matchup he is going up against today
A touchdown and yet only 90 yards
Never quite enough to set the tone with you
But it's hard to miss, when I know that your
Wide-outs' ready to break out and lose all control
[Fabiano]
All that matters is your men played alright
Give you all the points you need
So you're still in the fight, yeah
[Brock]
Think that I should keep Bears' [DST] iced, I don't
Think I'll find 2 starting backs? I won't
Even if [your Steven] Jackson choked
I'll admit: My players stink
Think Westbrook'd score 6 TD's? I don't
My tight ends' less points than [your kicker] Robbie Gould
Well my starting men choked
And all my players stink
When I took a chance, started Braylon Ed [Edwards]
Thought that he can add, to points I have
Still, the team had won, yet my man had not
Since the QB never throws to him, now what the cause?
See my scouting team, scoring far more points
Doing way too much, got too much appeal
If it doesn't change, gotta take a note
He [Braylon] is going, where's the page, the heads must roll
[Fabiano]
All that matters is that your men played alright
Give you all the points you need
So you're still in the fight, yeah
[Brock]
Think that I'll go 16-0? I don't
Think I'll get a great trade deal? I won't
Now that waiver wire's broke
Well, all my players stink
Think Westbrook'd score 6 TD's? I don't
My tight ends' less points than [your kicker] Robbie Gould
Well my starting men choked
And all my players stink
They stink!
They stink!
They stink!
God damn, yeah
[Fabiano]
You should have started Reggie Wayne
He could have saved a lot of pain
Then get a goal-line back to start
Instead of changing hearts
Before the weekends start
I think that you can save some time
Admit [that] there'd be games you must lose
Just stick with a team till a bye
Then you can save your heart,
Though it's [getting the lineups right] a work of art
[Brock]
Think that I should keep Bears' [DST] iced? I don't
Think I'll find 2 starting backs? I won't
Even if [Steven] Jackson choked
I'll admit: My players stink
Think Westbrook'd score 6 TD's? I don't
My tight ends' less points than [your kicker] Robbie Gould
Well my starting men choked
And all my players stink
Think that I'll go 14-0? I don't
Think I'll get a great trade deal? I won't
Now that waiver wire's broke
Well, all my players stink
Think my QB's got great games? I don't
If I need a plan, I'll get my own
Even if I'm 2-0
I'll admit: My players stink
Think I should go [and] start Ray Rice? I don't
Think I'll trade for Kurt Warner? I won't
Even if you got smoked
I'll admit: My players stink
Think I want that new Colts [DST] team? I don't
If I need a Ross, I dropped my own.
[Cory (RB, Baltimore), Derrick (RB, Kansas City) or Ritchie (WR, Tenessee)]
Even if you got smoked
I'll admit: My players stink
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User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
When drafting,go for the runningbacks no matter what.
I have Brian Westbrook as my no.1 overall pick, but then I have no depth.
Runningbacks no matter what is not always a great strategy. Westbrook is a prime example of how RBs are the most injury prone position in football because the good ones get tackled, often by groups of 250-300 pound defenders, about twenty times a game. I took receivers in rounds 2 and 3, and while in hindsight I could've gotten better than andre johnson and wes welker I still have a very deep team currently winning my 14 team league.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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