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Song Parodies -> "Bogus-Type Charities"

Original Song Title:

"Moment of Clarity"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Jay-Z

Parody Song Title:

"Bogus-Type Charities"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Some people just forget that "goodwill" still has limits...
Whoo! Yeah, chyeah (uh), uh, chyeah (uh), dumb, chyeah, whoo, uh
They keep turnin' up, I turn them down (uh), need to go

I'll always pass on these damn bogus-type charities
No hope that there's honesty (honesty) 'bout where the cash goes to
Sure, they might catch my eye-line to call me a jerk
But they can holler what they wanna, know their work is just to be a douche
They're fakin' piety by seemin' like they're the sweetest people out
But I have my reasonable doubts (that their words aren't true)
And I'll prove that they're trickin', get a head start on endin'
Their whole gross operation right now, listen to my truths

First: I plain don't like how they're all vague as hell
I never get specifics on the needs that'll sure fail
If I dare to not shell out a couple dozen handfuls
To these smug jerks, won't use descriptive words for their work
A twitch quirk is all on my face
Cause damn, I can't place where their work is based
Divulge: help for abuse victims? For folks seekin' refuge?
Or is it all to stop giant mutant moths?
You're usin' mealy-mouth talk (uh) to try and ward off (uh)
Any questions from people who use their own thoughts
I'm afraid that there's no way I'm gonna empty out all my pockets
If you people never tell me who in the hell I'm helpin'

And so I'll pass on these damn bogus-type charities
There's no friggin' honesty (honesty), I'm a big fan of truth
If that gets coughed up, I might pay up what it's worth
But you're not gonna ever, are ya? Total jerks, that's what you are, it's true
May claim you're righteously-like helpin' some of the poor downtrodden out
But there's still a reasonable doubt (that that's not the truth)
All the details are missin', so my answer's still pendin'
If you won't give what I want right now, I won't give to you

Don't you dare berate me, may be kids that I could save, please
I may come off a bit crazy but I'm really tryna save me
You glance down at my wallet instead of my eyes? Gotcha!
The reason why I'm stallin' is because you wanna
Get my gold, truth be told, you want my green
Plain to see, I doubt you need
This from me, my credit card right now? You're dense
Second sentence, shit, that's what you asked for? I'm shocked to bits (whoo!)
My best guess for what you'd be after to make a profit is
My mum's maiden name, you're shakin', does that mean I win?
To-and-fro, your eyes go a bit
Made your act slip up a tad, your eyelids both twitched
You want to help the poor, needs some cash, I get
But you're not actin' like that's the important bit, twit
I'm a teensy bit suspicious, all of this shit
Is why I'm tryna shut the door real quick, might hit foot tips

Piss off, I pass on these damn bogus-type charities
I'm not gettin' honesty (honesty) from you, I miss the truth
"I'll put you down for lifetime membership? Great perks"
Told you to stop it, total nonsense is your work, I hope I don't sound rude
I thought we finally were gettin' close to you makin' your way out
But now I see reasonable doubts (that that ain't the truth)
So concerned 'bout my credit that you went through my letters
How'd you open my mailbox? Get out, won't give shit to you

Why won't you leave? I added "please" at least three times, god
I'm gonna call the cops if you don't piss off
We've been here most the afternoon, that's not a ball
And it's the fifteenth visit this month, y'all
I've tried slappin' you with restrainin' orders, but
What a bust, guess I'm really not up on laws (whoo!)
Stop all the stares through my window, leave me alone
A favour owed: my mate came and hacked my doorbell, it knows
When it's just the pizza bro
Or my fears made flesh, that's you here (go), go, so
I want you damn jerks to haul your ass
I donate already, moron, got a tab
Pretty sure I told you assholes about all of that
Don't you try and touch me, call cops on that
I've read enough on law to try a whole brand new tack
You will leave my place, assholes, bet on that (bet on that), c'mon

I'll always pass on these damn bogus-type charities
So lackin' in honesty (honesty), I need my fix of truth
Go 'bout this all wrong, I find, you're actin' like jerks
Won't make much dollars if you holler while you work, it's obvious but true
Gained notoriety around this whole block for never stayin' out
Did I mention reasonable doubts (I guess it's the truth)?
Claim you're not one for sinnin' but you still fail at gettin'
The hint, so please leave my life right now, you won't get jack, dude

Totally guessed both the spelling and meaning of "mealy-mouthed" and "new tack" right on the first go...yet I nearly mispelled "right" as "write" just then.

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