Chorus (Lister):
I got a hundred cans of Lager and, smeghead I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
I got a chicken vindaloo cause all pasta will make me barf (me barf)
I got a hundred cans of Lager and, smeghead I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
I got a chicken vindaloo cause all pasta will make me barf (me barf)
(And I know)

Verse 1 (Lister):
Y'all Rimmer is whoosy, banana (A whiner)
His Risk game logs gettin' borin', now it's time to fly
He's big sissified, he was never desired
So take off them silly medals, put back on the wire
A hologram, Holly boots him up, damn
Let his boasts reign, let my taunts reign
And Cat's gonna bring the Kitty gospel
To every girl interested, playin' dreams tryin' to find who
Back with his god that's me, though I weigh 1-0-4 pound
(In)sults flying at the speed of sound
Trying to catch the trails of the ship that's running away
I might get my vindaloo's to go through my mouth
I don't really understand what the yelling's about
But they're same as, they take pride in driving each other nuts
Leaving one left here, dead, the twin was wiped
'Cause I ain't playing up here in Starbug

Chorus (Kryten):
I got a hundred socks, a hundred pairs, smeghead I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
And you can tell the way the iron sits, that smeghead I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
I got a hundred groinal attatchments, yes, I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
And you can tell I get really guilty, 'cause smeghead I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
(And this is how we do)

Verse 2 (Kryten):
Lister, I can see the snot in your nose
This ain't a movie, Rimmer got his hand smashed by a globe
And Cat just found his God
But now that Ace is back, Rimmer would much rather get a massage
And everybody talking crazy how they Ok quit
But I know this investigating, and they really spray spit
Not me, I'm the work droidie, got the industry shocked like
'Naw, buddy, We're gonna replace you, aren't we?'
True story, we're giving them feedback
Even replacement was forced to keel back
My master Dave said Kryts cook
Now we killing them Psiren smegheads, who said I must've found Cat's clothes hook
Got crinkles all 'cause of the iron
And the pink shirt got burnt, like the storms all 'round Saturn
Cook, Coke, fat, Lister fiends for that
And we already know the bleep is where the Dwarf be at

Chorus (Cat):
I got a hundred shirts, a hundred socks, buddy I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
Tough Dry and D-wash and spit, buddy stuff what you thought (you thought)
And you can't take me for granted, because life is too short (too short)
I got a hundred shirts, a hundred socks, buddy I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
(Aha, and this is how we do)

Verse 3 (Cat:)
I swear for it to be sweeter, I need a bitch
Depending how I treat her, she might get rich
It's guaranteed I gonna die, before I get hit
In maybe 2 or 3 hours, 'til I check my tips
And that top will not last a long time
But when I let them know their shirt is out, it's like The JMC Online
I have awoken
And you know I say that they deserved it whenever they lied with their minds drunken
I still hold a title, because I'm looking good like Monkey's little motorcycles
Riviera Kid, shooting out with them flawed hypos
Just doing this for something, it's so painful
Ha, I'm not like you
Word that Dibley is in the room is in the air
A jacket smells like yak and confusion's in the air
And I'm not cocky, I'm confident
So when you tell me I'm the best, not a compliment

Chorus:
(Lister): I got a hundred cans of Lager and, smeghead I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
(Kryten): And you can tell the way the iron sits, that smeghead I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
(Cat): I got a hundred shirts, a hundred socks, buddy I'm from Red Dwarf (Red Dwarf)
(Lister): I got a chicken vindaloo cause all pasta will make me barf (me barf)
(All together): (Aha) And this is how we do