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Song Parodies -> "Chest Lock"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Imogen Heap

Parody Song Title:

"Chest Lock"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Open, damn it, OPEN!
All my tinkerings have done jack-all, see
Don't think we're getting inside this quite yet
Long adventure, expect remuneration
Just wait there, I'll try to get our paycheck

I'll wait to blame one of you, key's lost for this chest lock
Now I've got a cramp in my wrist
Still weird that it's so hard, can't break off this damn chest lock
Normally takes two minutes

All I've done is wear down sev'ral lockpick sets
Got a few more and a handful of files
No, I won't blow it up though there's the temptation
Because it's a sad payday when said pay's fried

Why can't I get this off? Flipping off this damn chest lock
Nothing I try can unlock it
Yes, I've tried a crowbar to break off this damn chest lock
All that happened? The chest flipped
Landed right on (why won't it move? Why won't it move?)
My foot, goddamn this chest lock (why won't it move? Why won't it move?)
I don't get why no-one's helping (why won't it move?)
I'm not the only one (why won't it move? Why won't it move?)
Who's had "fun" with a chest lock (why won't it move? Why won't it move?)
Let's see you try and break this (why won't it move?)

Thing ain't popping, mind is breaking
Wish that I could reverse those lines
This is just rude, man, I ask you
Who leaves treasure you can't access? Not right
Can't unlock it, I can't break it
But I bet if I get this right
Find the right move, hear it "click" true
In this box will be jack-diddly inside

Bet it's a trap, a time sink

No, not half-arsing my goal of "no chest lock"
This damn thing just won't budge, you try it
I'll stand here in a huff, watch you bust off that chest lock
One blink and, wait, what is this?
No, that's just wrong (stare shocked at you, stare shocked at you)
How'd you knock off that chest lock (stare shocked at you, stare shocked at you)?
"Used the key"? Hell no, that's bullshit (stare shocked at you)
You told me it was lost (stare shocked at you, stare shocked at you)
Sweated hard on that chest lock (stare shocked at you, stare shocked at you)
No disarmed traps for you, dick (stare shocked at you)

Whole lotta nat 1's, I guess.

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Pacing: 1.0
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Overall Rating: 1.0

Total Votes: 1

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