(Part One: The Facts)

Heard scientists all shout, “Hurrah”
A planet with bacteria
They dropped their jaws and they were in awe
There was only just one flaw… They never found an alien
There’s no green beasties with fins and shells
Still they think its swell
Because life forms need to start somewhere

Cause this moon-rock gave the key
And from Mars they’ve got debris
But some still disagree
With life on Mercury

Bill Nye must have flipped his lid
In space there might be giant squids!
Under those test tubes (Like a rubix cube)
They’re solving the question today!
Those astronauts to space are sent
To find more than a small percent of cells (In vain)
From spacely terrains getting life that they can maintain

Still on Saturn there’s no fleas
And Neptune still has no bees
But science is not aggrieved
Because they found germs, it seems

(Part Two: Scary With Big Heads)

We thought there was only Earth
And in space there’s squat
But if Pluto’s no planet, then I guess… Why not?
See UFOs in the sky!
Guess where my future home is…
Yup, It’s on Mars!
And I can live out there
Among the stars!
But that might take some time

Search for aliens!
With robots that kinda look like Wall-E
Satellites can help us there
Scanning the whole land
In valleys and under boulders to see
If we find something with hair

I wrote a peace treaty
Just in case they brawl
I just hope Martians can read what I scrawled
Or we’ll no longer to exist
Because I’ve seen the films
That just made me squirm like
That one, “Mars Attacks”
And “The War Of The Worlds”
And in my pants I have pissed

Scary with big heads
And laser guns that can blast off my hiney
As you can tell I’m really scared
It might be a scam
Amebas are tiny creatures, we’re safe
But there might be worse out there!

(Part Three: I Don’t Care)

I don’t care if there’s things
I don’t care if there’s things
I don’t care if there’s things there!

Give no crap if there’s crap
Give no crap if there’s crap
Give no crap if there’s crap there?!

Are you scared of those germs?
Are you scared of those germs?
Are you scared of those germs there?

I don’t care if there’s life
I don’t care if there’s life
I don’t care if there’s life there!

I don’t care!!!

Bacteria doesn’t mean sh*t
Cause there’s only just a little bit
Could come from rockets that we made
Don’t you feel so betrayed?
Until I see a Martian breathe
You know that I will not believe
It’s folk stories and fiction from
The planet with bacteria
We are so naïve
Not thinking quite clearly
So I’m getting peeved
Something’s up their sleeve
Just send me there!
Be prepared!
I’m not scared!
You’ll despair!
Dead, I swear!

(Part Four: Some Crazy Redneck)

Hey Channel Five News! This here’s Bubba D
I swear a space critter went and abducted me
You see this dent here on my pick-up truck?
That’s when that alien gone and went and picked me up
And they probed me, I was gull-dern annoyed
And then I farted and their equipment was destroyed
Memory ain’t perfect, but this is the truth
Though I was kinda drunk, you can take it from my tooth

(Part Five: Tales Of A Life That Is Unknown)

To hide away from Earth
Those humans are just jerks
They come we hide for days
We’re there but they won’t see
Because we have large minds
We can go clear if we just try
Still they try to persist
To find if we exist

We’ll come
Some distant day
A gang of dumb tourists
And we won’t look refined
It’s hard to do that with twelve eyes
And then we will dine
On you Earthlings until we’re fine
Till then we’ll hide!

To us it is fair game
The humans shall demise
And there ain’t nowhere you can go
Space shuttles crammed and strained
Might stop your last goodbyes
Tales of a life that is unknown

We’re sleeping…
We’re sleeping…
We’re sleeping…
Till you pick a bone!