I don't have to push or shove
It's Internet Utopia
What is not to love, scripts what it's made of
Keeps up with those you belove

Looking up used violins
Google searching for the grins it's swell
For hours I dwell
On the sites I am obsessed with

and you must not disagree
M.P.3's beat out C.D.'s
This much I will guarantee
Ebay's cheaper for a Wii

Searching now for funny pix
Woah, that dude is eating bricks
See King Tut's tomb from your living room
Use Obrtiz to book flights today

Learn how you could fly a jet
Or how to spay your brand new pet or make Champagne
Then find Bowling Lanes
Map Quest makes travel lose it's pain

I'll go on a shopping spree
Buy a lot and shipping's free
and this site where you found me
Is why net beats T.V.

When I'm getting bored at work
Hope I don't get caught
Blogging about how I don't make squat
I could whine all damn night

You find message boards to fit in
Where you aren't lame
About your fav'rite topics friends think are strange
Fills you with delight

Cannot go to bed
Gotta see what all my friends online say
I do not know why I care

Starting a new thread
It's replaced going outside to play
I really do not need fresh air

Useless information
Through the web I crawl
Like the fastest speed ever for a bowling ball
or the cost of J-Lo's dress

Mom said I've lost touch
of the world where we live
But I do not see how
With all these email I hurl

"I'm not in high school" I stress. . .

Much left to be said
I still have seven friends spaces
I thought MySpace was too weird

Tried Soundclick instead
Less text talking is in that place
They're maturer people there. . . . . .

Searching here at Yahoo
If not there, at Google
Found it where, please tell me dear!

Alta-Vista once rocked
Like A.O.L. it dropped
Are you in this new frontier?

I never liked Hot Bot
It couldn't find a lot
Which search engine is your peer

Asked Jeeves, but he forgot
Give Web Crawler a shot
Somehow I will persevere

Getting near. . .

Take a break for a little bit
Got back on and I hit submit
Oh My God, forgot to hit save
That was fatal, "Dammit Dave"
Talking in third person, jeez
From the storm, my connections freeze
Tried to edit Wikipedia
There's no Internet Utopia

I am not naive
Not too naive, you'll see
I am not naive

No, I'm not naive

In despair!

Searching Where?

Everywhere!!!

But Beware!!!

That's Malware!!!!!!!!

Some spyware bull crap attacked my machine
It destroyed everything, even my .wavs of Queen
Norton Protection must have some back door
Was searching lyric sites when some hacker went "SCORE!"

Losing energy, I'm not paranoid
Check web addresses or your stuff may be destroyed
Nothing was backed up, so I guess I lose
I tried to repair it, but there is no freakin' use

Oh Dell
Your expertise
Now c'mon
I am not three

It's on
It's on I say
The screen
is Blue you dweeb

and they
say to check
The plug that's in the very back

It's in
What is next please?
It's passed
it's guarantee

"So now guy
you'll have to buy"
It is time
My dell has died

But I
Don't have my
Files from that computer guy

Please I
It's my life
He hung up on me one more time

That stupid slime!

Can't play no more games
Can't be online tonight
Cause there ain't no connection bro

Keep rebooting in vain
Why does Best Buy close at 9
Tonight I'll be bored to the
Bone. . . . . . . .

I'm grieving
I'm grieving
I'm grieving
I'm bored to the bone!