Part I. The "Death" of St. Snicky

[One week has passed since Snicky read Mike's letter. Snicky is asleep on the couch, and there is a knock on the door; it's Mike.]

**Mike**
"Snicky? It's me, Mike. Where are you?.. I came to apolo--"

[Mike notices Snicky asleep on the couch.]

**Mike**
"Snicky?..."

[Mike runs over to Snicky to see if he is alive. No heartbeat.]

**Mike**
"Snicky?..."

[The song begins.]

**Mike singing**
The slime is flowing from me
I am standing all alone
I have come to apologize -- I was wrong
Watched Spongebob and laughed and cried
Watched some Nick Gas, too
You taught me how to live

(Guitar riff)

On the T -- V set
I don't see no more Football Head
There's no signs -- of hope
Because Nick's merchandising is so slow
Watching Nick -- at Nite
Is like watching the same shows nintey times
Current Nick's -- unjust
It makes me miss The Brothers Flub

What the hell's -- your name?
Are you Nick or did you just feign?
Do you drink too much?
Do you think you're Nick-UH-lod-e-on?

(Guitar riff)

'Suming that's -- his name, St. Snicky acts without any shame
He said "Nick's f**ked up, Herb Scannell's to blame"
But Viacom really should take the cake

Snicky died -- today
In Scannell's hands did he pass away
In his state -- of mind
Corporate equals homicide

[Snicky picks up the phone and calls 911.]

Part II. East 12th Street

[The year is 2010. Snicky's house on East 12th Street has been converted into a tourist attraction as well as a historical monument. Nickelodeon has been airing its classic shows as part of Nick Rewind Sundays since Easter Sunday 2006. Richard Vernon died two years ago from natural causes. Christine "Moose" McGlade is Nickelodeon's president. And Pope Benedict XVI has recently dubbed Snicky an official saint.]

[Mike, who works as a tour guide at Snicky's house is giving another tour of about twenty people.]

**Mike**
"Yes, this is exactly where St. Snicky died four years ago today. As you can see, disc two of The Adventures of Pete & Pete: Season One is still in his DVD player. And he still has the same food in his refrigerator."

**Tourists**
"Ewwwww... gross! Revolting!"

**Mike**
"Just kidding folks! The whole town finished up the food while it was still good... I can't believe it was all four years ago."

[Part II Begins.]

New decade is here
New decade is here
Does anyone care: New decade is here?
Two Thousand and Ten
New decade is here
Is Snicky alive or did he just nap?

Kenan's acting on SNL now,
And Snicky passed away on East 12th Street
Kel is acting on Mad TV now,
It's season fifteen and it's not funny

They'd rather be doing something else now,
Like reuniting All That for a DVD set
Nick launched Nick Rewind for your TV viewing
We can't get enough, it gets huge ratings

Someone get Ug Lee a beer
Anyone miss Invader Zim?
Hey, people, look at Snicky's eyes!
Tourists and such find Snicky live...?

[The song stops abruptly.]

[Snicky wakes up, much to the surpirse of Mike and the tourists. A young dude gets Mike a beer from the fridge.]

**Mike**
[Speaking] "Snicky!... You... You're alive!"

**Snicky**
"I'm awake is what I am. What time is it?"

**Mike**
"It's 2:33 P.M. April 19, 2010."

**Snicky**
"Two Thusand and Ten!!??!... [Long pause] It worked! I slept until 2010."

**Tourist dude**
"Here's your beer, sir."

**Mike**
"Thank you, kid."

[The song continues.]

**Mike**
You're now alive
St. Snicky's awake
The Pres'dent predicted it
Back in February
"Is there a possibility?"
"Yes," she said "Some time this year."
The President's Hillary!

[The song stops abruptly.]

**Snicky**
"W-wait a minute now... The President's Hillary Duff?"

**Mike**
"No, heaven's no!! [laughs] It's Hilary Clinton. I mean, I always knew she was gonna get elected... and I didn't even vote for her. I voted for George X. Bush."

**Snicky**
"George X. Bush??? Is that a robotic Bush or something? Is he related to the Bushes?"

**Mike**
"No, he's not a robot or anything... [laughs] He's not related to the Bushes; he just happens to have the same first and last name. Weird, isn't it? So... how and why did you manage to sleep for ten years...?"

Part III. Nobody Likes Nick

**Snicky**
I went to sleep after watching Pete & Pete
And the mailman was Artie
Who gave me my mail
Dreamin' of a show
They cancelled -- so wrong
The network failed everyone
And Nick don't care

We've been overthrown
And I should've stayed home
After 10 years of bullsh**
I'm thinking...
Nick's no more

Nobody likes Nick
Everyone left them (Nick's no more)
When they axed their classics
in Oh-One (Nick's no more)
Everyone left them
Nobody likes them (Nick's no more)
They won't show the classics
Am I wrong? (Nick's no more)
(No, no, no)

Part IV. Nickelodeon Movies

**Male Tourist**
"Hey look at that stack of DVDs!"

**Snicky**
I got me Harriet the Spy
That was Nick's first movie take
I got O'Donnell on Laserdisk
And another on tape

DVD could not be found
I had to buy VHS
I got Good Burger on disc
But bonus features are p*ss

**Mike**
They've got Good Burger: Criterion
It was released the Thirteenth
The bonus features are awesome
You gotta check out the case
"Good Burger" in gold type
Black-tastic case
Black-colored case!

Part V. We'll Bring Back Classic Nick

**Tourist**
You still got old Nick Magazines?
Like the Halloween one, make your green slime treats
Waking up from your lengthy nap,
Classics can't be beat

Val Kilmer's Batman was the first one you bought
And Nick's redeeming from its turn to naught now,
We read Nick-UH-lo-DEE-on Magazine
In the summer heat

The slime is gushing round the clock
Out of control again,
A decade ago, there was nothing on but a sponge

**Mike**
I'm sorry 'bout my letter botch
Roundhouse is on right now
Reeeeeewind's got a channel

[The tempo slows as Mike turns on the TV to the Nick Rewind channel only to find a blue screen that reads the dreaded words: "Viacom has discontinued Nick Rewind."]

**Everybody**
No
We'll bring back Alex Mack
No
We'll bring back old All That

**Snicky**
Let's start our f**kin' running
Now that we've read the dreaded words
They brought on the war again
And to Gen-Y Nick, we'll always answer

**Everybody**
No
We'll bring back Weinerville
No
We'll bring back Football Head
No
We'll bring back 'Vader Zim
No
We'll bring back old All That
No
We'll bring back Animorphs
You
Can't Do That On TV
Aaaaahhh!!!
Real Monsters shown again,
No
We'll just salute our shorts

Nobody likes Nick
Everyone left you,
When you axed your classics
In Oh-One