Get your pets spayed and neutered
Or you may be lectured by Bob Barker
The host
The old game show extraordinaire
He's giving away furniture
To people wearing stupid t-shirts
You'd think that it gets old after many years

I beg to differ from the exact retail price
Bidding on a large bag of bland instant rice
The price is right

Come on down I'm hearing them say
The people get out of their seats to play
Getting randomly chosen really pays
Will I win a brand new Corvette
Or maybe just a boring old carpet
That looks like somebody threw up on it

Don't want to play to win a mediocre prize
I want the shiny thing that catches my eyes
The price is right

[The contestant from Arizona is spinning the wheel]

The wheel needs to land on the dollar
That way I'll win the real big bucks
Listen to me scream and holler
And perhaps it will help my luck

Spin, spin, the wheel starts to stop now
What a very depressing wheel spin
I landed on the five, but somehow
I still retain hope that I'll win
Cause I'm an American idiot

Well, I lost anyway and it still has me down
I can't believe how long this show's been around
Well, I'll be going now because I lost this game
Wearing a tag on my shirt that has my name

This is the retail guessing game