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Song Parodies -> "FPS"

Original Song Title:

"Cherry Lips"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I seriously suck at any game which boils down to "shoot anything that moves".
First-person shooters I can't hack
Crappy aim with the guns
I get shot in the bum
My ammo gets dumped on the ground
Too many times shot down
Yeah, that's the point, but hear me out
When shot too much, it gets old fast
These games are not my thing, I prefer platforming

I'm not an action game boy
Prefer fantastical realms
Such a bad shot, like I was blind
I can't make it work

Playin' FPS games, lack the nerve
I always crap my pants when someone throws a frag
You say I need to get a "feel"
For the game, get real, how many times I've heard that spiel
Whether it's Rainbow Six or Gears
My skill cannot come near the other guys, I fear
The guys online call me a girl
A stupid newb, all that just doesn't help, cause I'm still crap

I'm not a gun-happy boy
Prefer the Mushroom Kingdom
If I played more, skills would get high
You're wrong, they get worse

A sniper gets me through the heart
I get a rocket up the arse
You shouldn't trust me with a frag
Can't throw for shit, it will bounce back

No, buddy, no no
I won't play with you
No, buddy, no no
I'll fumble and kill you
No, buddy, no no
No, I won't play with you
No, buddy, no, buddy
No, I won't play Gears 2
No, buddy, no, buddy
No, my skills won't help you
No, buddy, no, buddy
No, I'm anti-help, dude
No, buddy, no, buddy
No, I'll miss and kill you
No, buddy, no, buddy
No, if I play, you're screwed

A game with me becomes a farce
No, buddy, no no
Won't get on the top players chart
No, buddy, no no
Tutorials, I barely pass
No, buddy, no no
Why are you giving me a chance?
No, buddy, no, buddy, go
Shooting games, oy
No, buddy, no, buddy, go
Prefer the Hyrule Kingdom
No, buddy, no, buddy, go
Can't handle pistols, I'll shoot wide
No, buddy, no, buddy, go
Flamethrower? You'll burn
No, buddy, no no

I just want to spare you
No, buddy, no no
From all my team-kills, dude
It kinda hurt to put "pass" and "chance" so that they'd have short "a" sound (to rhyme with "cat") as opposed to the long "a" (to rhyme with "harm") I usually pronounce those words, what with being Australian and all.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Rex - October 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Been there, done that, got the exit wounds.
Porfle Popnecker - October 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Good job.
Matthias - October 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Maybe it was just me being unfamiliar with the song but the pacing was a bit tough for me when listening to the original song in the background. I liked the topic though because I suck at FPS's too!
Agrimorfee - October 13, 2012 - Report this comment
I suck at video games in general, so I feel the pain here.
Below Average Dave - October 15, 2012 - Report this comment
It read pretty rough for me, sorry buddy--I just didn't get into this one as much as some of your other recent ones
Blaydeman - October 15, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I was really bad at first-person shooters until recently... now I'm mediocre! However, I enjoyed this one a lot. It wasn't the tightest parody you've ever composed, but I'd say you hit the target.

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