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Song Parodies -> "The Suspender"

Original Song Title:

"The Pretender"

Original Performer:

Foo Fighters

Parody Song Title:

"The Suspender"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

The mods are the ones with the power to suspend the assholes...so why is this one such a slack bastard?
S'ppossed to be a mod yet you will not suspend
Any and all trolls, what is your problem, man?

A forum veteran
Thought you would know just how bad things can get
When you let jerks run free
Why would you leave them be? Man, don't be lazy
That's just crazy
Those dicks never relent
No matter how often you post "Quit it"
With a mad emoji, oy
They'll return to their spree of phallus postin'
Real-life boastin' "Still not blocked", geez

How can you say that you can't be bothered?
"It's not my place"? Don't give me that bollocks, your profile states
You're the suspender
So don't you say that you'll wait for surrender
Because I'll say that plan's filled with problems
No discipline, no reason to stop it, what a huge pain
You're the suspender
Do your job, mate, and I mean now, not never

They broke the rules a lot
That means it's time to block or ban, can tell
You're still quite reluctant
They say they're repentant, so very sorry
They're not sorry, they'll keep on, geez

Don't be afraid to tell them to sod off
It's just a game to them, should get shut off 'cause they're a pain
You're the suspender
Don't throw away your shot to make this better
Don't need ingrates in this pedal forum
Should be ashamed, such a simple problem one can solve, mate
You're the suspender
It's not too late, you can still pull the lever

Might cut into your friend list
Not a thing to fear
Not good mates if they fill your space
With slurs and dicks there
Other mods do what's right
Their forums have peace
So just ban all these asshole clowns
I would easily
So why won't you?
Yeah, why won't you?
Yeah, why won't you?
Yeah, why won't you?

S'ppossed to be a mod yet you will not suspend

Ev'ry complaint I've made, you've ignored it
Think that I'm crazed, that's true, but it's all because you're a pain
You're the suspender
Sole one, that's lame, don't see that workin' ever
How can you say that they're not a bother?
Ev'ry damn day, they clog threads with lots of awful slurs, mate
You're the suspender
So show the gate to the ones who post nethers
Drives me insane how you can't be bothered (s'ppossed to be a mod)
Just cause they claim they got hacked the seven hundredth time, lame (yet you will not)
You're the suspender (suspend)
Use your damn brain, how'd you get this job ever?
Wouldn't be phased if you solved this problem (s'ppossed to be a mod)
By sayin' "'Kay" to the "You're sure?" prompt to toss me out, mate (yet you will not)
You're the suspender (suspend)
They'll have their way cause they say they'll get better
Ain't true, they're rude
So rude to you
But you've been fooled

I guess you could say that compared to actually competent moderators, this guy is just a pretender. Eh? Eh? I'll go.

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