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Song Parodies -> "Magazines"

Original Song Title:

"Tambourine"

Original Performer:

Eve ft. Swizz Beatz

Parody Song Title:

"Magazines"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Get these stupid junk mail sale catalogue mags outta my mailbox! There's no more room for the political ads I also don't want!
I didn't want this crap
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (I hate, whoo!)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (I hate, whoo!)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (eatin' trees, whoo!)
Don't want magazines, gonna (eatin' trees)
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (turns up in my mail despite my big poster)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' ("no damn junk mail, you bastards")
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (not workin')
Don't want magazines, gonna (guess so)
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (whoo!)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (whoo!)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (stop, please)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (stop, please)
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate, hate)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate, hate)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, won't you stop sendin' them?)

Eatin' trees for somethin' that I don't want
Hell, who in this day and age uses their mailbox?
Just send me all of this to my Outlook 'cause, hah
That's easier to block
I'm so friggin' sick of the crap I've found
"God damn" are the words that come out my mouth
But I must be tame, can't burn 'em out
That might hurt the rare birthday card, no doubt, that sucks (stop, please)

Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (shit, whoo!)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (ayy, c'mon) (whoo!)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (please stop, go)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (ayy, hate)
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate, hate)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate, hate) (uh)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate, hate) (yeah, yeah)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, eatin' trees) (ayo, ayo)

You could say that all the fault's on me now, I must be stupid (whoo!)
To keep on writin' deets down, totally clueless
But on any and all gods, I do swear that ain't right now
I've passed on whatever deals would do that shite now (never go there)
'Cause they're bollocks, yeah, always a scam (c'mon)
Never savin' money, just sendin' me crap (c'mon)
Dunno how they found me, never gave my address (give mine up, give mine up)
Hittin' all my friends up, did they put me for this (gave mine up, gave mine up, whoo!)?
Oh yeah, I know that I've been tempted to lie and say I
Live at 123 Fake Street but that could exist, no lie
Oh yeah, this smells of fish, man, blank hows and whys (c'mon)
Don't send me all this nonsense

Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (c'mon) (whoo!)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (c'mon) (whoo!)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (they need to die)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (they need to die)
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (won't you stop sendin' them?) (uh)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (eatin' trees) (c'mon)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (yeah, c'mon) (I'm mad, I'm so damn mad right now)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (oh, yo, yo) (not workin')

Some joke, some joke, I'm sick of, sick of
Throw this crap in the air, what a rip-off, rip-off
All these magazines never stick on, stick on
The number to call 'em out, that's a big con, big con, hah (c'mon)
I wanna let 'em know this is bullcrap (whoo!)
Get it stuck inside their lobes, this is bullcrap (whoo!)
Gonna scream down the phone "Stop this bullcrap!" (whoo!)
But it's like some ancient code, this is bullcrap (ayy) (whoo!)
Ev'ryone is an asshole, ass-load of assholes (whoo!)
Just want me to pay for some ridiculous crap unasked for (whoo!)
Yes, they're chargin' cash (blows), shocked to the core
Found my information how? Jerks, gon' give them what for (aw, man)

Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (burn 'em up, burn 'em up)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (burn 'em up, whoo!)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (burn 'em up)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (now, whoo!)
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (hate, don't care 'bout the sales that you've all got)
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (whoo!)
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (c'mon, whoo!)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (whoo!)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (I'm so pissed, come on)
Friggin' magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin'
Hate these magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (this is silly)
Bloody magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (I never asked for this shit, man)
Don't want magazines, gonna use 'em all for kindlin' (ow! C'mon)

Kinda expected "tambourine" to be one of those words that's spelled without a "u" in America but I guess not. Then again, that's asking the English language to have some sort of consistency with its ten basquillion rules, so I guess the joke's on me.

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Total Votes: 13

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