I'm so tired of wailing, yeah.
Incensed by always wiping your rear.
And if you have to heave.
Why must you do it on my sleeve?
So messy, your fingers smear.
Your tantrums drive me insane!

No toons seem to appeal,
No game will keep you still,
Attention span that rhymes cannot appease!

When you cry I try to stay sane through the bawl.
When you scream, I'd like to say it's mutual.
I've smelled your pants from right down the hall.
Just sit still, brat!
Toddler peeves...

Your job's to aggravate me,
With your irritating whine.
As I'm bound by the state, you're kept alive.
I've faced onslaughts of incessant screams.
Your boisterous playing makes more calamity for me.

By zounds, you're squeals are shrill.
Nineteen-months-after pill?
You're such a rush of wild, erratic pace!

When you cry I try to stay sane through the howls.
When you scream I buy you cake to stop the growls.
I've smelled your pants- hoo boy, such loose bowels!
Just sit still, brat!
Toddler peeves...

I've often thought about welfare adoption.
But oh, you're a gift, kid.
Though oft I moan,
I'm a mum!

When you smile a light pervades all of my dread.
As you dream at night I stay there by your bed.
Though you may run me out of my head,
You're MY lil' brat!
Here with me...