David Cone, real pitcher, crappy player

2 homerun hitters round the first base, round the first base, round the first base
2 homerun hitters round the first base, round the first base round the first base

Cleats are back, once again. Cleats are back, killed your friend. Cleats are back, cleats are back, cleats are back, cleats are back, cleats are back, cleats are back cleats are back.

I've been wearing a monster, and nobody wants to,
see Starbutt no more, they want cleats, I'm chopped liver.
Well if you want cleats then this's what I'll give ya,
a small amount of gloves, mixed with some hardballs.
Some bats that will been thrown quicker than
Roger Clemens while Piazza's going to first base
while Clemens trying to throw it at his face
while my foot is feeling it's been hit with a mace "hey"
you've waited this long for me to come back and play
I'm back, I'm at the plate, and constipating
I know that you've gotta throw, Roger,
but Piazza's leg problem's complicating
so the MLB won't let let my foot be,
or let foot be foot, so let me see,
they tried to shut me down on TV,
cuz it looks so stupid, without cleats
So come on and hit, blood on your lips,
and the crud on your lips and their's some on your tits, and get ready cuz this
bat's about to get heavy
I just got a strike three, screw you pitchy!

Now this looks like a bat for me,
so everybody, just buy it for me,
cause I need to go on a shopping spree,
cuz it'd look so stupid, without cleats.

Now this looks like a bat for me,
so everbody, just buy it for me,
cause I need to go on a shopping spree,
cuz it'd look so stupid, without cleats.

Little players, kids feelin' rebellious,
embarrased, their parents still like Roger Maris.
They start to feel like the nachos are helpless,
until a catcher comes along on a mission and yells "swing"
a visionary, vision is losing, could start a revolution, pollutin' the airwaves, a rebel,
so let me just revel an ask, it's the fact I got everybody kissing my bat,
and it's a disaster, such a catastrophe, for you to see,
so damn much of my bat you ask for me,
Well, I pitch (Batman Sound) fix your glove and then pitch and get them three strikes,
throw it to the plate and then spring your nikes,
the center of attention, back from spring training,
looks like the center is constipating,
it's not fun to watch, better than watching your watch,
and you ask me I'll kick your kid in the crotch.
Testing, "attention please" if you see anyone who thinks they're gonna beat me,
can someone please tell me?
They've lost ten games, they won't get them back and see,
a liar, who else thinks they can beat me?

Now this looks like a bat for me,
so everybody, just buy it for me,
cause I need to go on a shopping spree,
cuz it'd look so stupid, without cleats.

Now this looks like a bat for me,
so everybody, just buy it for me,
cause I need to go on a shopping spree,
cuz it'd look so stupid, without cleats.

A hotdog, a hatdog, I go to the stadium with anyone talkin' this bat that bat. Fred McGriff,
you're gonna get stiffed, worse than them little Yankee bastards.
And Gay-bid, you can get stomped by David,
you 36 year-old bald-headed bet blow me,
you don't know me, you're too old, it's over let go, nobody likes the fastball, now let's go,
just give me the signal, I'll be there with a whole list full of new team names.
I've been dope, suspensful with my nacho, ever since Prince turned himself macho,
Sometimes the thing just seems everybody only wants to discuss cleats,
this must mean they're disgusting,
but that's just cleats, they're just obscene.
Though I'm not the first king of battind average,
I am the worst thing since Roger Maris,
to run the bases so slowly,
and use it to get myself out, (hey)
there's a concept that works,
twenty million other homeruns emerge,
it wouldn't matter how many fish in the sea,
it'd still look stupid, without cleats

Now this looks like a bat for me,
so everybody, just by it for me,
cause I need to go on a shopping spree,
cuz it'd look so stupid, without cleats.

Now this looks like a bat for me,
so everybody, just buy it for me,
cause I need to go on a shopping spree,
cuz it'd look so stupid, without cleats.

(Hum hum dei dei la la hum hum dei dei la la) X 2 "Swing"