where's my handbag?
i can't find my handbag
ooh you little b....
i'll scratch your eyes out...

Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have, I've been protested and demonstrated against. Picket signs for my gay rights. Look at the times. Why can't everybody just come on and be nice?!
All this commotion. Picking up signals I see on my gaydar coding. Tempers flaring from Texans, just tell em they blow, and keep goin.' not takin' nothin from no one, for that rainbow I'm reaching. Keep doing it in the mornin', but can't remember his name in the evening. Leave em with a taste as salty as the sea in they mouth. See, they can get with me but they never make me come out. Look at you now, I bet ya probably being sick now. Ain't this precious? I'm a look so fabulous now!

Chorus 2X
I'm sorry, Mama. I never meant to hurt you. I never told you I like guys, but tonight I'm comin' out the closet.

I'm coming out of the closet and I don't know if no one knows it. So I plan my party and throw it, I'm a expose it. I'll take you back to 83, before I ever had a Geri Halliwell CD. I was in a gay club, open just a couple of months. My future boyfriend must have had a karaoke passion. Cuz he sang. I wonder if he did the YMCA. No, I don't on second thought; he did 'in the nav-ay'. Now I look at Julian, and I couldn't picture leavin' his side. Even if I hated him, I grit my teeth and I'd try to make it work with him at least for his Erasure CD. I maybe give it up for free, but, I'm only human, but I'm gay enough to know the all the songs from 'grease'. Though bein straight was ok, lance was more fun, cuz the smartest thing I ever did was take it up the bum*. Cuz I'd a missed all this, I would have never met Ju or Lance both. It's my life, now lets go watch the Ricki Lake show.

Chorus 2X

Now I would never say that I'm gay just to get attention. Take a second to listen to Village People before you start dissin. But put yourself in my position. Just try to envision yourself wearing spandex that's real tight fitting, B***hin' that Stewart's got a Gucci purse when all you've got is Louis Vuitton. Going to camp clubs with great music systems, victim of disco fever syndrome.
My whole life I was made to believe I was straight when I wasn't, 'til I grew up, now I live it up. It makes wanna scratch some eyes out, doesn't it?
Wasn't it the reason you went in that gay bar? So you could try to adjust the tuning on your gaydar? But guess what, don't think I didn't see you with Julian in the Jacuzzi, An' you're bein so camp, he's gonna know you're a floozy.
And Julian's bein so sweet now, you should see him, he's gorgeous. But you'll never see him again, you ain't even worth the fuss! See what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was queer. boy, wear your thong. Keep tellin' yourself that you got a big schlong. But how dare you try to take him when you'd only just met. You selfish queen, I hope no one does you even for a bet! Remember when we had that fight and you took me to Springer, Jerry? Well, guess what, honey, he's comin home with ME!