May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real slim nerdy please stand up?
I repeat, will the real slim nerdy please stand up?
We’re going to have a problem here

Y’all act like you never seen a nerdy person before
Jaws all on the floor like Sam, when Frodo just burst in the door
And started using the One Ring more than before
I’m using the Force, throwin’ you over my furniture

That was The Return of the- “Ah, wait, no way, you’re kidding
He isn’t going to say some nerdy quote, is he?”
And Dr. McCoy said, “Damn it Jim!
I’m a doctor, not a rapper”

Hardly any women love nerdy men
Nerdy nerdy nerdy, “Slim nerdy, I’m sick of him
Look at him walkin’ around wearing a you-know-what
Watching his Doctor Who, yeah and he’s so weird too!”

Yeah, I probably got a couple of zits up on my face too
But no worse than what’s going on in a nerd’s bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna watch some Star Trek and just hang loose, but can’t
So I watch some Indiana Jones and vamoose
His gun is at his hips, his gun is at his hips
And Indiana Jones has also got a whip
And that’s the kind of stuff that’s okay for little kids
And expect them to think people want nerds to exist

Of course they gonna think it’s okay if nerds exist
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Sy-Fi Channel don’t they?
We ain’t normal mammals, well at least we ain’t like Hannibal
At least we don’t mess around like we’re on dope
But if we can write stuff up on the TV Tropes
Then there’s no reason why Kirk and a green woman can’t elope
But if you’re nerdy like I feel, I got the antidote
Stealin’ women’s pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

I’m slim nerdy, yes I’m the real nerdy
All you other slim nerdys are just imitating
So won’t the real slim nerdy please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

‘Cause I’m slim nerdy, yes I’m the real geek
All you other slim nerdys just ain’t as sleek
So won’t the real slim nerdy please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

“Weird Al” has gotta act like a nerd to sell his records
Well I do, it works for him, and it works for me too
You think I care if you like my personality?
Half of you athletes can’t even stomach me, let alone stand me
“But D, what if you rap, wouldn’t you be weird?”
Why? So you guys could just lie so you could mock me here?
So you can, make it seem like you actually care?
Shoot, Star Trek marathon is on better get some chairs
So I can sit here and watch it daily or even worse
And sit and watch fights begin between some Kirks
What kind of twit would put me on MTV?
“Yeah, he’s cool, but I think he’s just too weird, hee-hee!”
I wanna download an audio MP3
And show the world how to get songs for free

I’m sick of you little athletic and big dudes, you all try to destroy me
So I have been sent here to annoy you
And there’s a million nerds just like me
Who might like me, who are a fan of Spock like me
Who fight like me, walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next weird thing but not quite me

‘Cause I’m slim nerdy, yeah I’m not a jock
I’d rather dress in blue and pretend to be Spock
So won’t the real slim nerdy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

‘Cause I’m slim nerdy, I’m the one the jocks hate
Some people think I might end up like Bill Gates
So won’t the real slim nerdy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

I’m like really hard to listen to, ‘cause I’m only givin’ you
Things you’ll joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y’all and I don’t gotta be dumb or hyperactive at all
I just get out my Klingon and say it
And whether you like to admit it, you all do hate it
Better than ninety percent of my “friends” do
Then you wonder how teens can beat up other people as if it’s Doom

It’s funny, ‘cause at the rate I’m goin’ when I’m thirty
I’ll be the only person who knows Gene Roddenberry
Kickin’ people’s asses when they say that I ain’t nerdy
And I’m talkin’ but this whole rap just simply isn’t working
And every single person is a slim nerdy lurkin’
He’s probably workin’ at a Burger King, cryin’ ‘cause his life now stinks
Or in the parkin’ lot, circling, screaming, “My whole life sucks!”
With his pants down and getting beaten up

So, will the real nerdy please stand up?
And do the Spock thing on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta the norm and outta control
And out of that dorm, loud as you can, how does it go?

I’m slim nerdy, yes I’m the real nerdy
All you other slim nerdys are just imitating
So won’t the real slim nerdy please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

‘Cause I’m slim nerdy, yes I’m the real geek
All you other slim nerdys just ain’t as sleek
So won’t the real slim nerdy please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

‘Cause I’m slim nerdy, yeah I’m not a jock
I’d rather dress in blue and pretend to be Spock
So won’t the real slim nerdy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

‘Cause I’m slim nerdy, I’m the one the jocks hate
Some people think I might end up like Bill Gates
So won’t the real slim nerdy please stand up
Please stand up, please stand up?

Ha ha, guess there’s a slim nerdy in all of us
Scotty, beam me up