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Song Parodies -> "Lose Your Health"

Original Song Title:

"Lose Yourself"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Lose Your Health"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Look, you think you’re …a big shot?
You got the immunity…to diseases your sibs contracted?
One moment!...Are you keeping fit?
You better get hip

Oh! Time to get ready, this weak, see my GP
Been sittin' here 20 minutes already, nurse took BP
I’m nervous, been this way since I have turned 30
I’ve dropped trou, just waiting and fretting
I must calm down, the doc then knocks real loud
And he opens his mouth, “Ooh, your health is in doubt!”
He’s gropin’ now, all over me, pokin’ now
He turns me out, says, “Bend over, cough!”
Draws blood out from me (OW!), don’t prod that into me
“How does that grab you?” he joked
I’m so glad that he’s done, I get so queasy
I must admit he knows my whole health regimen sucks
Don’t need no nips and tucks
“But still fat, don’t drink Coke”
“So much snacks!” Yes I know!
When he sees my cholesterol count, it’s off chart
Back to my home again, Joe
I feel bat-s***ty
I start now to moan and to fret, I hope that it passes

You’re gonna lose your health, you’ll get sick, bad omen
You’ll bite it, life expectancy low
You better get flu shots, your bad habits have to go
Now listen to your MD to increase your lifeline, bro
You’re gonna lose your health, I speak truth, don’t blow it
Now heed it, the prescription you need to know
You are going to pot, hike your pants and go slow
Get some good harmony onto your lifeline, you better!

Better stop smoking, and also hemp toking!
Yo bro, you bet I’m not joking
It just may sting, but you fool you’re getting older
The party life is glowin’, but you gotta stop poppin’ and your snortin’
To walk it gets harder, waistline grows larger
You can’t even touch down to your toes, you can't see ‘em!
As your age grows, you might get the Alzheimers
Bad lymph nodes, and lumbago
Your bones softer, like foam, it’s a bother
You inherited these conditions from your mother
Now blow your nose, argh!!, into your shoulder!
Use Airborn and Vicks, and lots more cold products
And next time this poor guy goes, he groans
Pass stones in his caca!
Then complains he is cold, his poor toes
He checks his old ticker, yup the beats are off
La-dum, la-dum, la dum, dum-dum (Chorus)

Feeling lame, life has changed, turn the big page
Take another look ‘n my mind’s disengaged
I’m’a itchin’ and scratchin’, hope it ain’t mange
Got to chew up the softest food now at this stage
Got phlebitis and bursitis, I get sicker
Please believe me now, my saliva’s gettin’ thicker
I got pains on my left, and my right, down my back
Oh I might get by 'til I’m 45
Please, ‘fore I die I'll say goodbye to my family
Oh man, I’m old man, just Gramps in my diapers
Yes my honey, here’s my will for life, for son and wife
Rip my insurance card, I’m a livin’ effin’ martyr!
Crick in my knees and dental caries, ‘cause
I’m a goner, give it up, and my funeral will be a bother
In my pajamas, papa’s dreaming on
About how he’ll reach Nirvana
Grew liver spots, start to lose all my memory
Got rotten elbow joints, body now will fail
And will I still get it up or not, has my libido got all shot?
Viagra will be a dysfunction option on the spot
Ending the show, I should exercise I know
But getting real old, my teeth will rot
Pick out my fresh grave lot
As nose drips snot and I think I got an edema blood clot!
(Chorus to fade…)
Copyirght 2008, Agrimorfee.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peregrin - February 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Ah, I saw the OS and thought this oughtta be good, and I was not disappointed :) Lots of great lines, my fave being "He turns me out, says, “Bend over, cough!”". Excellent stuff, Agri-M.
Below Average Dave - February 16, 2008 - Report this comment
It's too bad you released this on a Saturday. . .because there is no way you are going to get the praise you deserve for taking on this monster OS. . .nice job working in 'libido' in a parody and just brave all around
Matthias - February 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Like Eminem says: "You can anything you set your mind to man". Great job here Aggy, tough song but you pulled it off nicely. Though I would to have liked to see some variation in the choruses, but still tough song, and great execution.
Jack Wilson - February 16, 2008 - Report this comment
That was awesome, and an impossible OS to do,5s
The Charnstar - February 16, 2008 - Report this comment
LOL! The start sounded so.. neurotic... This was brilliant! Maybe as good as "Weird Al"'s. 5's
Stan Hall - February 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Outstanding, Agri ... no use for the original artist, but can't rap your rap ... 5s
Timmy1000 - July 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Glad to see this was entered into a contest so I could see this one. Outstanding job on following OS and keeping theme throughout and just hilarious!
Leo Keough - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(L) Great job on a difficult OS!!!...555!!!
Guy - July 18, 2009 - Report this comment

Ag - no one needs to worry when socialized medicine hits the streets in this country - most people will most likely expire before they ever get to see a doctor. My fave line is also the "bend over" bit - funny thing is that I actually knew a Dr. Dover - his first name - yea you may have guessed - it was Ben.
Below Average Dave - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment
See above, I do notice a few rhyme mishabs, forgivable on this OS. . .Still really enjoy this one. . .
Stuart McArthur - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) wow, fantastic Ag - lots of lifted line segments from the OS, but as you know, that's a big plus in my opinion - great idea and brilliant title sub too - wish I'd thought of it - 555
bobpiecheese - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) You know, I could've sworn that I've commented on this one before. Interesting idea and a great take on such a monster OS. 555!
Red Ant - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
"I’m’a itchin’ and scratchin’, hope it ain’t mange" was my favorite line. Excellent work here, Aggy, on the hardest OS I know of. 555
Invisible Boy - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
A fantastic effort, Agri. I'm turning my head and coughing up 555.
Jeff Reuben - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Great job, some of the internal rhyming was different, but that's really nitpicking here. You doctored the original song well.
Matthias - July 25, 2009 - Report this comment
See above, I still would have liked to see some variation in the choruses but this was still a great job with great health care.

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