"Have you been to art galleries?
Have you been to art galleries?
Will Jim's surreal paintings be hung up?
Freaking Sweet!
Will Jim's surreal paintings be hung up?
I think we got another artist here"

Y'all act like you've never seen a good artist before
Paint all over the board
Some red and yellow splattered galore
Like I was smoking some grass
And got pretty bored
So painted a horse
A chucking paint transfer (Splat!)
Has the name of the
"Ah, damn, I think I used that already
But they'll have no idea what it is, I'm betting"
As Van Gough once said
Nothing you idiots
Van Gough's brain dead
From that one ear replacement

Artistic women love Artist Jim
(Canvas, Canvas, Canvas)
"Jim's paintings in love with them
Look at him, throws paint around just for fun
Dripping with red or blue, yeah
He's so cute too"

Yeah, I probably have a picture in my head, moose
But I get nerved, and tear open a paint lid loose
Sometimes, I want to draw a tree or a goose, but can't
But it's cool for Bob Ross to draw what he choose
"The Joy of Painting scripts, The Joy of Painting scripts"
If I'm lucky I'll watch that before I go and flip

And there's a message I try to convey on my canvas
And expect men not to stare at the blobs of naked chicks
Of course they're gonna know what a Momoyama~ is
By the time they hit the fourth grade
They got Art Schools don't they?
We draw nothing but mammals well some of us naked ones
Who draw naked people for nudie shots (Drool)
But if we can draw still life's of cantaloupes
Then there's no reason a man can't draw another man for a scope
(Ewww!!!) But if you huffed too much paint, I got the antidote
Women have your paintings flow, add some orange, draw rainbows

"I'm Jim Yadey, yes they're all real paintings
All those other Jim Yadeys are just
Duplicating
So won't the real Jim Yadey please paint us
Please paint us
Please paint us"

"Cause I'm Jim Yadey, yes they're all real paintings
All those other Jim Yadeys are just
Duplicating
So won't the real Jim Yadey please paint us
Please paint us
Please paint us"

Da Vinci don't have to cuss while he paints to sell pictures
Well I do, so f*ck him and change my hue
You think I give a damn about his paintings?!
Half you critics will worship me, but will never understand me
"But Jim what if you're in Artist of the Year?"
Duh, so you guys can just lie and say there's free beer.
But make me sit down here for my caricature
Shit, Jim Davis better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Salvador Dali, son not first
And I can argue about who got more art dispersed
"You little b*tch, I'm in more art galleries!"
"Yeah that's cute, but I'm in Paris, we-we"

I should unload my yellow and my light green
And show the whole world how to make some gems (Cha-ching)
I'm sick of animators for lame cartoons
Sponge Bob is so annoying
Same goes with that Winnie the Pooh

And there's a million artists just like me
Who paint like me, who can simply make a buck like me
Who sculpt like me, doodle, sketch, and draw like me
And might create the same damn thing, but no publicity

"I'm Jim Yadey, yes they're all real paintings
All those other Jim Yadeys are just
Duplicating
So won't the real Jim Yadey please paint us
Please paint us
Please paint us"

"Cause I'm Jim Yadey, yes they're all real paintings
All those other Jim Yadeys are just
Duplicating
So won't the real Jim Yadey please paint us
Please paint us
Please paint us"

I'm like a brain freeze to oogle at
My art you Google that
Things you try to draw inside your studio
The only difference is that I have the skills to do it
In front of the hall marked "The F*cking Best Damn Pictures Of Them All"
I just grab my brush and smear it
And whether you like or fear it
I career it
Better than ninety percent of you painters out can
Then you wonder how can critics
Eat up my canvas like Vegas
It's funny; cause at rate I'm painting when I'm thirty
I'll be the richest person in manor home flirting
Living Playboy Mansion when I'm making out with models
And I'm driving one of my Ferraris straight from London
And every person can take a Jim Yadey learning
He can be working at the comic shop, a big fat loser flop
As I'm in my paint workshop doodling
Screaming, "Give me lots more bucks!"
With my barrette on and sunglasses up
So will the surreal Jim Yadey please paint us?
And clear you canvas and pick your paintbrush up
And be proud to have artistic mind and a big payroll
And one last stroke, dump paint can, how does it look?

"I'm Jim Yadey, yes they're all real paintings
All those other Jim Yadeys are just
Duplicating
So won't the real Jim Yadey please paint us
Please paint us
Please paint us"

"Cause I'm Jim Yadey, yes they're all real paintings
All those other Jim Yadeys are just
Duplicating
So won't the real Jim Yadey please paint us
Please paint us
Please paint us"

(Repeat twice more for artistic quality)

Hell no
There ain't no Jim Yadey in rest of you punks
Buy it?
Autographed paintbrush!!!