(James Bond theme begins slowly on a piano and then moves to this message)

Look
Agent Bond
007
Now you have one opportunity
Before everyone is blown and departed
Twenty-Four Hours
Will you deliver it?
Or give me the slip?

Yo!

His mind's unsteady
World domination set and ready
He blew up parts of Paris already
With J-Lo and Britney
He's dangerous
But on the surface he's a geek named Eddie
He'll drop bombs
But it's a fight he's fixing
English bloke now
With gals all clad and proud
He opens his mouth, his line comes pouring out
"I'm Bond wow, I'm am James Bond Pow"
The clock's timed now, only hours Go!
Down to the armory
Q works there inventing
Now he's got a pen that gives smoke
And some pad that explodes, something like that
Easy? No
He needs equipment; he knows he'll all be trapped in some ropes
It don't matter, He's Bond
Cause Dr. No, Was a joke
He's like magic, because foes
All go back to their cellblock homes, but for now
He's back in the lab again
Yo
In Bond Mansion
He better go take out this villain and hope he'll kill him

He'd better move with stealth through the mansion
This moment, You'll own him
You'd better stop him before he goes
You only get one shot
Do not miss your chance to smoke
His mass villainy ends everyone's lifetime, Yo

He'd better move with stealth through the mansion
This moment, You'll own him
You'd better stop him before he goes
You only get one shot
Do not miss your chance to smoke
His mass villainy ends everyone's lifetime, Yo

His car is scraping
Through the cave that's gaping
This world time is just ticking
Or Ed is King
And he'll start disorder, Border to Border
A normal life is boring
But Bond's super-spydom ain't close to boredom
Kicking butt gets harder, Kicking butt gives honor
He blows his cover and a gang of henchmen on him
But most Si-Fi shows, is like "Luke I'm your father"
His career blows, God only knows
He goes past them in one blow, Just like Harry Potter
He climbs walls with just rope and a claw, It gets harda
But hold your nose cause he just entered the sewer
Tuxedo clothes ain't black no mo, It's a green product
He'll go and climb the next wall, who knows?
The vent broke and he showed, Tada
It's Ed's Labra-Tory with his girls
It a scene from Godfatha, But not the beating one
Grabba Bum, Grabba Bum

He'd better move with stealth through the mansion
This moment, You'll own him
You'd better stop him before he goes
You only get one shot
Do not miss your chance to smoke
His mass villainy ends everyone's lifetime, Yo

He'd better move with stealth through the mansion
This moment, You'll own him
You'd better stop him before he goes
You only get one shot
Do not miss your chance to smoke
His mass villainy ends everyone's lifetime, Yo

Sure it's strange, and deranged, this James Bond rage
Breaks through Ed's stain glass roof like he's going to raid
He was screwing in the beginning, his mood all changed
You'll be beat up, and spit on, and locked in a cage
With bombs blowing, and gun shooting, can't decipher
He'll go beat you down like Rocky's Eye Of The Tiger
There's a fight inside Ed's homemade lab
But don't quit your day job from 9 to 5
That minimum wage type of life as a window wiper
My job man, my paycheck lets me drive those Vipers
No it's no movie, with Sarah Micelle Gellar, come on let's fight
And we fight so hard, we even break for water
I can't be beat, cause I'm Protagonist
See dishonor won't let you conquer, you Prima Donna
Maybe a drama's screening your name
You'll be acting with Madonna
When I'm hot I'm hot, another guy's history
I beat you to a pulp, how ain't no mystery
Now the world is saved for I pulled my gun and shot
Distress will never be an option, no matta what
Ed you's crazy to try to make the world have to go
But now you're down with Satan's Lot
So I say my line it's all I got
My name is what? James Bond with the movie's lame plot

He'd better move with stealth through the mansion
This moment, You'll own him
You'd better stop him before he goes
You only get one shot
Do not miss your chance to smoke
His mass villainy ends everyone's lifetime, Yo

He'd better move with stealth through the mansion
This moment, You'll own him
You'd better stop him before he goes
You only get one shot
Do not miss your chance to smoke
His mass villainy ends everyone's lifetime, Yo

"You wanna go rent another action movie man?"