(Intro)
Ladies and gentlemen, boxing fans!
We have quite a match for us tonight!
In the blue corner, from Anaheim, California, weighing in at 112 pounds, parodist, Ryan Hamann!!
And in the red corner, our returning champion, born in Brooklyn, New York weighing a healthy 223 pounds, the "Iron" Mike Tyson!!
(I'll take your heart and feed it to you)
I'll beat you to the ground just meet me outside, meet me outside, meet me outside,
I'll beat you to the ground just meet me outside, meet me outside, meet me outside,

Guess who's back,
Back again,
Tyson's back,
He'll eat your friend,
Guess who's back,
Guess who's back,
Guess who's back,
Guess who's back,
OH MY GOSH!!! MY EAR!!!
Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne,
Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne,

Well the Tyson's a monster,
'Cause nobody wants to see him pissed off--he'll eat your babies for dinner,
If you wanna talk to him just don't go messin',
Unless you want a chunk of your ear lobe missin',
Yeah well, his stare can jumpstart a car quicker than those cords you buy at the auto-hospital,
And in the ring when opponent is aggravating,
There'll be moral laws that he is violating,
We're waiting for him to stop detonating,
His hot-head temper that he keeps demonstrating,
I know that you have a job, Evanda',
I just hope it ain't in a music band-a!
So the FBI's gotta keep an eye,
On me and my wife until the day that I die,
I tried to run my car into a tree,
But Nintendo feels so empty without me,
So -- step on the ring,
Take a quick swing,
Come and feel my bee sting,
I'll eat your offspring,
So get ready,
I'm comin' for you, Evie,
Before my wife takes up a law-suit,
You callin' spaghetti?

Now, my anger's startin' to throb in me,
Jail always has a spot for me,
Bit his ear off just for controversy,
Now everybody really wants to punch-out me,

I said, be ve-ry afraid of me,
Jail always has a spot for me,
Bit his ear off just for controversy,
And don't you dare call me Baldy,

So I hear the chants,
So I get into my stance,
And I just hope yo' parents aren't in the audience,
Don't start thinkin' that you have a chance,
They try to shut me down but I was freakin' (rich!)
I am really scary,
Obituary,
No ear for you to savor,
Just sign this waiver, (Trouble),
And yo now, I love the eBay,
Sellin' my autographed gloves for some real money,
Fights' a disaster,
Such a catastrophe,
But you can see, new meaning to the word, the word "bloody",
Well watch out (ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, shh),
Bit up your ear so fine-tuning is now,
Out of the question,
Be glad I didn't work with Hitler,
Or we'd all be in a nuclear winter,
And all I'm stressing,
It's boxing, it's not wrestling,
Docs are investing in my mental testing,
(Testing, attention please),
Yes that's real blood that everybody sees,
Well my quotes they,
They make sense to me,
I want your heart, I'll eat your baby,

Now, be ve-ry afraid of me,
Jail always has a place for me,
Bit his ear off just for controversy,
Now everybody really wants to punch-out me,

I said, be ve-ry afraid of me,
Jail always has a spot for me,
Bit his ear off just for controversy,
And still NOBODY can knock-out me!

Go make your casket,
I will zip you that way,
Anybody who's willin' to fight,
Just like Holyfield,
Who still isn't fully healed,
(But at least his problem isn't in his head, doctors),
And, homie, I totally got stung by Holy-,
But then this 35 year old boy knocked me down,
You can't beat me, moral, good heart, it's over,
Again I am thrown in the clink so,
Now let's go, they told me the story of Mao Zedong and other communists,
I listened in jail as I got older,
Now I've got his face tattooed onto my shoulder,
But sometimes when the boxing crowd teems,
And the opponents face just plain beams,
This is when I get angry,
That's when they call in the M.D. (ahh!),
I do it all for the controversy,
I am the baddest thing since Muhammad Ali,
Now it's cause my tickets sell so quickly,
I use my time to get my self angry (hey!),
I say the worst 20 million quotes in jumbled words,
Even though there's so many boxers in the ring,
It feels too safe without me,

Now, be ve-ry afraid of me,
Jail always has a place for me,
Bit his ear off just for controversy,
Now everybody really wants to punch-out me,

I said, be ve-ry afraid of me,
Jail always has a spot for me,
Bit his ear off just for controversy,
You know baddest isn't in the dictionary!

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
Ow, ow, ow, ow,

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
Ow, ow, ow, ow,

I'll eat your kids!